Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Week 8: Enter The Dragon

Dear Avid Reader,

Sometimes folks would rather have things simple. But things are never simple. They're complicated.

I'm going to try and complicate Enter The Dragon for you now.

Don't Concentrate On The Finger Or You Will Miss All That Heavenly Glory

Here's the problem: the world has no supervillians. But the world needs supervillains, powerful, evil, and brilliant masters of destruction. They need to laugh with "MU-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA". That's right. We need people that start their laughs with "MU".

See, the universe needs folks like Han from Enter the Dragon. A dude that somehow got a bunch of money (I'm guessing a government grant). Someone who's ambitious, smart, and can hold his own in a fight. Han is all of these classically super-villianous things including a mind twisted to the brink of madness. I think that because he never fully recovered mentally from the accident that took his hand, he feels compelled to dominate the world out of an insecurity that he is no longer a whole man. So rather than get a nice prosthetic hand, the guy slaps fur on a garden hoe, then straps the grotesque contraption on his gnarled stump to slice folks in the face. In other words, he's a perfect supervillian.

Very Few People Can Be Totally Ruthless

Like all supervillians you can't go after Han directly. Sure you know every crime he's committed, but you lack evidence. He's just that good. So you have to send a guy in to infiltrate his organization and bring him down from the inside. Someone with a personal beef with the criminal-genius and also someone who has legendary butt kicking skills. Don't worry there's always a guy like that around. The Hans of the world are always killing the person that turns out to be the father of a loose cannon in the special forces. Or the daughter of a boxer that hung up his gloves after he killed an opponent in the ring. Supervillians always go one step too far. This time it was attempting to rape the sister of a spiritual kung-fu dude that...does...kung-fu...and...wait, does Lee have a job or anything? I think he's basically homeless.

Something else that troubles me is how does Han, and other supervillians, get awesome henchmen like O'Hara and Bolo? I mean. I don't think they get days off. Sure they get all of the comforts of the secret island, but what f they wanted to start a family? And what about when they get old? I don't think Han would allow them to retire. They probably have to keep henchmen-ing until they die. I think henchmen need a union. I don't think anyone is looking out for them.

Boards Don't Hit Back

So here's why the world needs supervillians. It's because it is getting harder and harder to tell who the bad guys are anymore. Han makes heroin, kidnaps the poor and conducts experiments on them, kills chicks in his harem for fun, and kills his guards when they make a mistake. He's a terrible human. It's easy to hate him.
But in reality, is it so easy to find the bad guys? It's election season, let's look through that spectrum. When does a political attack ad change from spin into lie? Here in Texas, I saw an ad that accused an opponent of allowing Texas to have one of the highest sales-tax in the country. But the thing is that Texas has no state income tax. And because taxes have to come from somewhere, Texas has higher property and sales tax. It's not anyone's fault, it's just the way it is. So was this a lie, or just stating the facts with a creepy dude's voice?

You Can Call It "The Art Of Fighting Without Fighting"

The truth is complicated. The thought is that the truth is simple because lies traditionally exaggerate or fabricate. But leaving out parts of the truth is also lying. Or is it? I don't know what to call it. I just know it's bullcrap.

If there was an alternative to having people in charge of things (like letting robots or gnomes take a crack at it), maybe things would work out better. The problem is that flawed, imperfect, gross, regular people are all there is to turn to. Even the heroes of Enter the Dragon are flawed. Lee gets captured by Han's trap, which means he can be careless. Williams and Roper are hustlers and womanizers (and one questions Roper's fighting ethics when he bites Bolo's leg). Are these the only people to count on to defeat evil. Unfortunately, the answer is yes.

Destroy The Image And You Will Break The Enemy

But if we had supervillians, then deciding who to fight would be a cinch. There would be no question as to if this was "right"or "wrong". Just look at the dude's house. It's a freaking island fortress complete with a booby-trapped dungeon-maze that's loaded with brawlers in white gis. Look, they're all punching in formation. Put the protest signs down.

But alas, the world is more sophisticated than that. Every day wrought with ethical dilemma. Such is life in the richest country in the world. But I can still dream right?

Yes, I can dream of a world filled with supervillians. I'm doing it right now.

Until Next I Blog,

James

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Week 7: Donnie Darko

Dear Avid Reader,

Can a movie be awesome even though you hate it? I say yes. This is because I've seen Donnie Darko.

Go Home And Tell Your Parents Everything's Gonna Be O.K.

Donnie Darko is a terrible movie. Now I wonder if I hate this movie because it is truly awful, or because it was made for teenagers after I was no longer a teenager. Did I simply become a fuddy-duddy at 22? Maybe teenagers of this generation just like awful movies. That sounds like something a fuddy-dudy would say. These dumb teenagers and their dumb awful movies made me sound like a fuddy-duddy.

I'm going to stop typing fuddy-duddy right now.

Every Living Creature On Earth Dies Alone

Here's why I don't like the film. Everyone in the film is some form of unlikeable a-hole. The End.

Let's use Donnie as an example. Donnie is a troubled misanthrope that can't decide if he has a heart of gold or is full of rage at an unsatisfying world. He defends Cherita at the bus stop, but is a total, unjustifiable brat to his mom. He is kind to Gretchen but he is vicious to his sisters. He bullies the teachers at his school but is in turn bullied by fellow students. Donnie has it both ways. Now some might say that the character has complexity, but I disagree. He's just an unlikeable a-hole.

See, the duality isn't given nuance. Rather it relies on tropes that are all smashed together. Here are some more of the movie's smashed up tropes:

- Predominately white suburban neighborhood appears to be happy and wealthy but underneath is spiritually unfulfilling.
- Intellectual family at center of movie feels under attack from stupid and politically conservative members of community.
- Psychiatrist that pushes for more medication.
- Lone teacher who "gets" art is embattled with conservative school administration.
- Spiritual leader that is big on traditional values but has secret, deviant, sexual proclivities.
- Pop culture conversation that inserts a depth to a TV show/movie/song that reframes the work in a funny/interesting light.

Wait, I do that last one all the time. I'm doing it right now. Ignore the last line.

Why Do You Wear That Stupid Bunny Suit?

The problem isn't that the tropes are used, it's the feeling I get from them. The movie's seams are jagged and crooked. I feel like I've seen this movie before only better. There are attempts at originality, like with the time travel thing (TTT).

Now, I like the TTT, but if you start reading blog posts about it, hardcore fans seem to think that it is some huge, really deep aspect of the film. Like there is something more to it that what is offered. But there isn't, it's real simple. I'll explain. Donnie can see the immediate future through the cool, chest special effect. Frank helps Donnie understand that what he is experiencing from the plane crash on is life if he decides to live as opposed to die in the crash. He is given a the choice to sacrifice himself or Gretchen. He chooses himself. See, simple stuff. I mean this is all covered in It's A Wonderful Life. And George Bailey did act like a douche to everyone.

Time's Up Frank Said

And the TTT leads to the dumbest conversation in the movie. The one between Dr. Monnitoff and Donnie later in the movie, the second one they have. The one where we start to get into how the TTT works that ends when Monnitoff says that continuing it will cause him to get fired. Fired. For talking theoretical science. Seriously? Talking about time travel? That doesn't make any sense. Even the most backwards administration wouldn't fire the guy for talking about what is basically science fiction.

Or maybe the worst conversation is between Pomeroy and the principal when she gets fired. You know, the one where she gives her impassioned plea for the welfare of the students, minus the passion. The one where no clear reason for the firing is offered not because it's been a long time coming from constant fighting with the school leaders, but because the writer is lazy. The one where it looks like Drew is reading her lines out of a script in her lap. I hate this movie.

Sometimes I Doubt Your Commitment To Sparkle Motion

What really bugs me about the flick is that it feeds into the belief that negative people are smarter or better than people that are positive. Mrs. Pomeroy and Donnie spend the entire flick hatin', and they are the heroes of the movie. This just infuriates me. Why are the most condescending characters getting top billing? It's because it's such an easy tactic: being critical means you are more authentic, more honest.

And no one exemplifies this more than Donnie. He acts as the untouchable judge, the administrator of justice against hypocrisy, throughout the flick. But he isn't perfect. He isn't above everyone. He's just a kid with an attitude and psychological problems that has a penchant for needling community leaders publicly. Try getting elected judge with that wacky resume.

But here's the thing, the opposite is also true. It's just as honest to look for the cool things about something as it is for the lame things. It's just as authentic to say something is good as it is to say it's bad. It's also more fun to be raving about stuff. And I realize the irony of bashing a movie for an essay and then saying that it's wrong to bash things. Or is it not irony but hypocrisy? Idiocy? I hate this movie.

What's Cellar Door?

But I love this movie for one thing. At the talent show Cherie does the angel dance and all of the characters clap loudly for her. Now while some jerks scream jeers, the others just clap louder. That's what I'm talking about. We need more of that. Maybe I like this movie. I'm conflicted. Are there other cool parts? Now that I think about, there are. The school montage set to Tears for Fears early in the movie is the greatest sequence ever. It rules! It's better than the actual video for "Head Over Heels". ALL the music in the flick is great. Yeah. I'm starting to feel good about Donnie Darko.

Nah, I really hate this movie. It's an awesome movie that I hate. I'm not going to explain how that is possible. You're just going to have to go with it.

Until Next I Blog,

James

P.S. I ask "Is that Seth Rogen?" everytime he comes on-screen too.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Week 6: Scarface

Dear Avid Reader,

So Scarface is about capitalism. Let's get that out of the way. It is also the most awesome movie ever. You can't get out of the way of that. So let's just talk about the capitalism.

Lesson Number One: Don't Underestimate The Other Guy's Greed

Here's the thing about the capitalism allegory of Scarface: it shows capitalism as the awful reality of the American Dream. Tony grows up in Cuba idolizing the movie stars of Hollywood, claiming that he always knew that one day he would go to America. And why did he want to come here? Prosperity. Security. In a word, money.

When individuals talk about the American Dream, I wonder what they think that means. I guess the hokey, Pollyanna version is a life that is comfortable and secure. Chickens in pots, cars in garages and et cetera are included. The American Dream also means some kind of contentment, but that contentment seems to be conditional (or only come after) on getting the house, vacations days, and wireless internet access. The focus is on the material.

Nothing Exceeds Like Excess

This is why Scarface is such an awesome movie. It cuts to the heart of our true beliefs and fears. Tony works hard to get money. He is ruthless. He'll kill anyone that he needs to kill. He makes no bones about it. He's honest about what is happening. This honesty is what makes him an appealing character. He takes what he wants, but never lies about what he's doing to get it. He is a truly ethical capitalist.

And isn't that what every American wants? To drop their guilt? Don't we want our consumption to also be virtuous. I mean that's why we buy Tom's Shoes. In the back of every American's mind, they are just a few decisions away from being super rich. But they also fear they are a couple bad decisions away from been poor. It's what drives the economy. It's why we buy iPhones.

Scarface reminds the viewer that greed has consequences. That greed hurts someone. Tony kills people. His drug business has a terrible influence on his sister. The unchecked greed destroys Tony and everyone around. Scarface also reminds how fleeting the good times are. The movie spends a lot of time on the rise of Tony and on the fall of Tony. The small time that he enjoys his wealth can be fit in a montage.

Me, I Always Tell The Truth, Even When I Lie

I find one of the most honest scenes in the movie to be when Tony is negotiating the interest rate with the banker that is laundering his money. Sure he is bringing in more and more money, but in order for the money to be of use, he must pay more and more. Tony is faced with the reality that wealth cannot defy gravity. It is something that rich people face all the time: Growth that lasts forever does not exist. The American Dream is something you wake from.

But the most terrifying part of Scarface is the scene when Tony shoots Alberto during the NYC hit. Tony asserts himself. There are some things he just will not do in order to maintain his wealth. He knows that folks call him a "bad guy" but he truly believe that he isn't. Everyone else is just as bad, maybe more so because he doesn't hide his failings. But as soon as he takes a stand to rescue his soul, the system move quickly to remove him. Tony has now become the biggest threat to the system. He values himself above the game.

Is This It? That's What It's All About, Manny? Eating, Drinking...Snorting...Then What?

Tony's death is the realization of the fear for every rider on the roller coaster of American materialism. If at some point, if the rider wants off, will they stop the ride and let you go? When it comes time to want an identity of you own creation, will the collective strike back? Does the person that bought in get to cash out?

Yes, greed has consequences, profound, huge, big stinking consequences, and they are not that nice to think about. That something that individuals are so interwoven into could be destroying so much. Materialism is about a fear of death, and everyone is scared. Humanity just cannot move past this, still looking for the immortality application on our smart phone. But maybe it is not too late. Maybe there is something, however painful, that can right the course. Maybe it is time to say "hello" to a little friend. A little friend name "Conscience".

But it may as well be a grenade.

Until Next I Blog,

James

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Week 5: Heat

Dear Avid Reader,

Man I hate Waingro. Don't you? Do you know someone that is like Waingro? I hope not.

Look at Cheritto's face when he first meets the guy. He almost doesn't want to let him into the truck. He thinks about it. There is a gut reaction to Waingro. He tells him to "stop talking" after just a few seconds of conversation. Waingro makes people want to shut him up.

Want Some Pie?

I mean seriously I could literally burn my TV for having had his image on the screen. During the robbery he hits a guard because he stumbles toward him. After being told it's because the guards are disoriented from the explosion, he still shoots the guard. Later he explains the guard was "making a move" and he "had to get it on". At the diner, it's obvious that the other members of the crew are giving him the cold shoulder. Waingro can't pick up on social cues.

Holy jumping grasshoppers in June I hate this guy. Waingro then procures the services of a lady of the evening. After fishing for compliments with regards to his lovemaking ability, he kills her. Why? Why does Waingro need to kill this women? What is freaking wrong with this guy? Waingro doesn't think.

I Am Cowboy, Looking For Anything Heavy

Great Ceaser's ghost in a tube top walking down the road and laughing at a Bazooka Joe cartoon I despise Waingro. At the bar he gives the bartender his resume of prison terms. He regards himself so highly, but he sucks so badly. Asking for "anything heavy". If you could handle "heavy" stuff, then why do you need Billy Rickett to gain an in with the bartender Waingro? And that whole "grim reaper is with you" bit is so over the top. Does he really think he's cool enough to pull that line off? I'm shocked that girl didn't laugh in his face. She probably cracked a smile and that's why she wound up dead. Waingro is a total idiot.

Then comes the betrayal. What a tool. What a pneumatic, kick-start on sale at Sears but I got it at a garage sale when I stopped with my sister cause she's trying to outfit her college room. Waingro betrays McCauley to Van Zant by giving him the location of McCauley's next hit. Once again, Waingro exaggerates his abilites by claiming to know McCauley better than he does. They took down some "major scores" according to Waingro. Man that guy just deserves it doesn't he? He totally overplays his hand. Then he turns state's evidence when Zan Zandt ends up dead. Like a punk. Waingro is a punk.

I Got Some Move I Could Make Here, Probably Be A Big Help To You

Oh by my rage filled fists and feet I want to hit Waingro. You know what, here's the thing. There are a lot of things to hate about Waingro. But the truly repulsive thing about Waingro, is his ability to stay alive. He has just enough ability to eek by. Billy Rickett thought enough of him to vouch for him. And he did get in with McCauley's crew somehow. Waingro realizes that it's McCauley outside the door in the hotel and he escapes McCauley when he tries to kill him in the diner parking lot. I mean he's such an awful human being, but you kind of have to give him a little credit. Waingro is so frustrating.

In the movie Casino, Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci) describes a person that he has no confidence in as a "guy could screw up a cup of coffee". Only he didn't say that quote exactly as I wrote it. Waingro is that guy. He lives. He survives. Despite his best efforts, he has small successes. You could say a lot about people like Waingro, but I choose to say this: Waingro could screw up a cup of coffee.

Until Next I Blog,

James