Week 17: Waiting For Guffman

Dear Avid Reader,

I kind of enjoy getting behind and cranking 'em out. Gives me some energy.

Tricked you!

D'Artagnan! How Dare You Talk To Me Like That, You!

In Waiting for Guffman, people are center stage. Literally. Oh I kill myself sometimes. What wit! But seriously.

Folks are weird. They are. They're unaware of how truly funny, cruel, or stupid they are. Guffman how truly self-centered we all are is laid bare for the audience. The humor comes from how discompassionate the characters are toward each other. And isn't that what living is all about? My crap is grander than your crap. Let's talk about it. Over Facebook.

This is turning into another romp into zaniness. The center refuses to hold.

Like How Many Babies Fit In A Tire, You Know, That Old Joke

Guffman. Right. Guffman. The flick doesn't hold up after the twentieth viewing. The fact that I didn't enjoy the movie this time around probably has something to do with the fact that I'm watching it alone. The happiest I've been watching this movie is college. All me friends huddled around a TV...laughing...quoting lines. Nostalgia. It can make one sad. Curse you nostalgia!

Great. Now I feel wistful, but in a bad way. I'm not sure why romanticizing the past is so easy. I mean it's just like the present but you already know the ending. That of course is the whole problem I suppose. The current chapter of life hasn't finished, and that's scary. It could be a heart-warming family movie, or a horror, or a tragedy, but it's never known until it's in the rearveiw. This is bumming me out.

But I continue!

I Got Off That Boat With Nothing But My Dancers Belt And A Tube Of Chapstick

Something in the mind nudges belief about the future into negative or positive shades. Those who tend to color with the poo-poo brush are usually cooler. This is a fact. But why be a hip cynic? "Because it feels truer" says the person with black fingernails. Well I say screw that pal! Everything is great or everything is terrible, either way you're lying. Why not pick the one that feels good?

And that's what the characters in Guffman do. The fact that they will never be revered artists doesn't faze them. They plug along. And they are happy to be diluted. Who cares about the truth when my fantasy is so much better?

Ignorance is truly bliss. So don't freak out if I point at your smart phone and scream, "Witch". I'm just following my bliss.

Until Next I Blog,

James

Week 16: TiMER

Dear Avid Reader,

Tick, tock. Ticky-i-ty tock. Yeah there's clocks in this movie. And you should watch this movie of clocks.

Otherwise you're wasting everyone's time.

Stop wasting everyone's time.

In The Service We Had A Name For Men Like That

In a way I want to explain the world of TiMER. Because I'm sure no one except me has seen it. I don't want to ruin the movie, but it's kinda of hard to write about the flick without the reader having some context. Let's for get about this and just proceed how about?

Guarantees would be awesome. At least I think so. I'm not talkin' about "promise to replace your throw pillow" guarantees. I mean "should I take this job" guarantees. Knowing rather than assuming you're making the right decision. Doesn't that sound nice? Certainty is very attractive.

This is starting to feel like a short essay.

Some People Lead, I Follow

One can probably figure out from the previous paragraph that guarantees are available in the world of TiMER. I'm not going to reveal more than that. Nice try.

See I'm defying the expectation that I should write a coherent blog post. For in reality, there are no guarantees. Like the suffering of the rest of life, those who read this blog will suffer. Suffer dear reader, suffer.

You're The Most Inappropriate Person I've Ever Met And Now You're Gettin' All Appropriate On Me

I will not relent. I will not make sense. My written thoughts will remain raw. Jagged.

Excuse me Monsieur Meaningful Discourse, I shall not join you at the club today. And I can only imagine your disappointment. Your tears plinking into your warm shrimp cocktail while your muscles tense under a too white tennis shirt. Weep not for me but for the countless readers still waiting for the chaos to collapse under its own enormity, crushing itself into a filament of pure reason. Weep not!

There are no guarantees sir, no sir, can not understand that there is none sir, no sir, none at all sir! Guarantees would mean that all people are actors playing their parts for an audience of ghosts. This is not the case. The actors can break the fourth wall. They can change the script. They can haunts those ghosts.

But TiMER is a great flick. Try and watch it.

I sure said "guarantees" a lot in this post.

Until Next I Blog,

James

Week 15: The Warriors

Dear Avid Reader,

Yo cats and kittens. How's it flowing? You picking up what I'm putting down? You dig? Righteous. Right on.

Blogging time is nigh.

Warriors! Come Out To Pla-i-ay!

Everyone but my wife should like The Warriors. She hates it. I'm sure it's punishment from a past life. I'm sure of it. Everyone else should like the movie. But she is supposed to hate it. Just trust me.

The key question this flick brings up is if looking cool is enough to excuse criminal behavior. And the movie makes a pretty good case. You got, Electric Eliminators, Moonrunners, Rouges, The Freaking Awesome Baseball Furies, all of them violent, extortionist, thieves, but also impeccably costumed. Street crime dressed to the nines. America rules.

For All You Boppers Out There In The Big City

Now, real gangs don't go all out on the uniform. Obviously. Usually it's a color and that's all. After all, they have coke deals to get to. They haven't the time to be bothered on whether sequins or feathers gives the correct blend of intimidation and class when it comes to accessorizing their pork pie hats.

It's really a shame too that so little sophistication goes into modern criminal attire. Wouldn't the public be more sympathetic to a gang that had some flash? A crew that had matching green sweater vests would been seen as a little more interesting than thugs that simply had matching bandannas. The perception would be that the vested gang would be more adult, more organized, better. These aren't just some punk kids, they have their crap together. This gang is going places.

Can You Count Suckas?

Maybe better costumes would lead to less violence. If the fashion caught on, other gangs would engage in a arms race to see who could out-festoon who. Hand-held steamers would replace 9mm pistols. Runway walks instead of drive-bys. No more gang signs, only designer labels. This is the future!

But alas, this isn't how contemporary drug syndicates operate. Real gangsters would abandon this idea. After all, Cyrus also tried to bring order from the chaos and he was shot. Perhaps bringing sophistication to gang culture would end the same for me. Or maybe it isn't so much that street criminals can't handle high level thinking and constructs, rather the fact that these gangs are made up of the poor may prove the true roadblock to felonious haute couture. Picking the shotgun over the vinyl pants is a no-brainer when you are planning a heist on a tight budget. At least it is for now.

Well, Good! I'm Sick Of Runnin' From These Wimps!

Looking to the film's most intense moment we see the truth of how gangs live. During the final leg of the journey back to Coney, some teenagers board the subway car that the Warriors are on. They are laughing and joking, looking like they have just left their prom. The happy group meets eyes with Swan and Mercy. Both of them are marked and worn. Clothes wrinkled and loose. Swan's vest looks more like an attempt at a joke than an indication that he is ready to "bop" an enemy. The kids fall silent. They realize how wealthy they are, even though they aren't rich. They soften. Shame and guilt rip away at them. They are naked in the reality that they will always have more.

Mercy is also ashamed. She knows how poorly she looks. After all, poverty doesn't mean you're dumb. She understands. And as she moves to brush an errant hair from her face, Swan stops her. He refuses to show weakness. Swan also understands what is going on, but also realizes that if he accepts the pity, he admits that they have won. He continues to stare down the kids. He wants them to know that while his world has less, he is king of it. His stare seems to ask the question, "Which world are you in now?"

The teenagers blink first and get off at the next stop. Even though it has more treasure, their kingdom is smaller. They bow and walk out.

Long live the king of the subway.

Until Next I Blog,

James

Week 14: Halloween

Dear Avid Reader,

Skip it. Just get to it already.

Well, Kiddo, I Thought You Outgrew Superstition

Fear. It's really powerful. And the fear of something is ALWAYS more intense than the actual experience. There are times when fear is appropriate. If held at gunpoint...start being terrified. If being chased by lizard-people...freak out. But a lot of times we should not be so scared. A lot of times, here in this country at least, our fear is just a complacent mind that is bored. Contentment, it seems, darkens the shadowy corners of the mind.

This is why Halloween was so scary at the time. It wasn't a European remake ala Dracula or Frankenstein. There were no demons like Rosemary's Baby. It wasn't an epic monster like Godzilla or King Kong or natural disaster like The Birds. The monster was a kid. From the suburbs. The monster was one of us.

But You Can't Kill The Boogie Man

Just look at the opening scene. The camera is behind the mask of the killer. The audience is made to feel complicit with the murder. This movie struck to the heart of the biggest fear in America...the good times are soon to be over. No more than right now can we feel this fear. No jobs, skyrocketing national debt, Glenn Beck has still not been brought up on crimes against humanity, and the list goes on. In essence, the fear of losing grip of wealth is the biggest unexplored terror of this country. Thanks a whole lot riches! You suck.

You Must Think Me A Very Sinister Doctor

Micheal Myers never explains why he is killing. He never says anything. He is just a maniac...end of story. A boy born in a tract home with easy middle-class privilege, just all of a sudden snaps. Not touched by drugs or some poor choices that he made, he just is evil.

And I argue that this movie is not about punishing the kids that have sex. Au contraire. I mean Laurie, the hero, smokes weed. Sure she coughs on the harsh, but that is beside the point. The point is that when it was her turn to be served, she snatched that spliff and took the hit. She seemed pretty adept at handling philly blunts for a "good kid". Maybe she coughed up da indo smoke cuz shawty can't take down a jay like east-sidaz! Cannonball! Yeaaaaaaaah boy! See, It's not so much that the sinners are killed, it's that the babysitters in the neighborhood are smokin' out and gettin' down. And that's gonna totes freak dem crazy white folks.

I Hate A Guy With A Car And No Sense Of Humor

And that is what fear really is...that beneath the surface something really bad is brewing. America has had crazy freaking growth in the past 20 years, but never once did anyone feel like they were high on the happy wave. But here in the burst, which follows EVERY bubble, folks are acting like it's the end of it all. Maybe it is. Maybe the fall will continue and America will become the next third world. The fact that we can conceive of that reality shows how tenuous we think things are, or is it how tenuous that we KNOW things are.

Or maybe it's just the fear talking.

Until Next I Blog,

James

P.S. Yes I know this would have been perfect for Halloween week. Just shut it smart alec.

Week 13: Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

Dear Avid Reader,

A Little Nonsense Now And Then Is Relished By The Wisest Men

It's about to get real. You're about to feel my kung-fu. Put your hands up! Defend yourself!

KEEEEE-YAH!

Up The Airy Mountain, Down The Rushy Glen

This is kind of a conversation that may have gone differently but this is how am writing it:

James: Is this movie about drugs?

Robyn: No.

J: Drug use was at a high during the 70's, it stands to reason...

R: James, you've never read the book. The book is different. It's better.

J: Spalin how.

R: Charlie in the book is shown as a very humble and kind boy. His father is also alive. Charlie never steals the Gobbstopper, the whole Gobstopper thing in this move is totally wrong.

J: I see that the book may have been about something else, but this movie is obviously influenced by the drug culture of the day.

R: *exasperated sigh*

J: Wonka is totally high.

R: Stop ruining this for me.

J: The truth can't ruin things, it can only be.

R: Truth? I don't think so. I think that...oh I hate this scene.

J: Oh yeah, the Fizzy Lifting Drinks scene. It's not in the book right?

R: Of course it isn't. *pause* This is ridiculous.

J: Ah, but in the reality of this film, it does exist. It is as welcome to the Wonka canon as...

R: Arrgh! Seriously? You do this every time we watch this.

J: I'm just trying to present the film as a legitimate work at least on par with the book.

R: No you're not. You're just trying to get a rise out of me.

J: Perhaps. But I really thought you would enjoy the dialogue about how the work impacts culture and...

R: Oh please. You're just taking this very nice movie that was made for children and filtering, no, perverting it through cynical, snarky blog voice.

J: Oh! Oh-ho! So now it begins! I'm incredulous. I am seriously incredulous.

R: Calm down. You just got burnt. Rub some lotion on it.

J: Oh you are gonna get this back in spades, lady. Just wait until you're watching Bones again. Comments will be flying. FLYING!

Until Next I Blog,

James

Week 12: Red Dawn

Dear Avid Reader,

Art imitates reality imitates art. Chicken and the egg. You dig what I'm putting down. I can tell.

Tell Me What's The Difference Between Us And Them

An action movie rarely mirrors life. Usually a dude or group o' dudes takes on a huge army and overcomes using controlled explosions and snappy one liners. There are few examples of this actually happening. And I find it hilarious that our action movies cast the scrappy band of insurgents as heroes and the large advanced army as the villains. I guess maybe we should have blamed the unrest in Iraq on movies like Red Dawn.

And why single out Red Dawn? Because it is a movie that I remember watching as a kid and taking it in as a how-to-film. No seriously. I didn't watch it as much as study it. The thought was not IF the Russians (or anyone) was going to attack, but WHEN. In the initial hours of the invasion, children needed to run away and gather as much supplies as you could. Then setting up camp was vital. And all survivors who made it for a month or so, MUST start a counter attack from behind enemy lines. Never surrender. What happened to my childhood Patrick Swayze? You stole it!

All That Hate's Gonna Burn You Up, Kid.

The characters showed a young generation that they could be extraordinarily successful at harassing the enemy with lightning raids. They used the familiar woods to their advantage, and set traps and stole equipment. And what kid wouldn't want to be in a Red Dawn scenario? No parents, calling your own shots, shooting guns, fighting for...something...America, maybe? Hey why are we killing all these people Pony-Boy*?

*Watch "The Outsiders" to get that joke.

The youngsters in the movie go Lord of the Flies and start slaying people real early in the movie. Why is this? Easy, the adults are too lazy/smart/dumb/awful-human to fight and they get the kids to do it for them. And they start working on the kids early. Mr. Morris is the first adult they meet and he gives them guns and tells them to never come back. Mr. Mason gives them more weapons and gives Jed the impression that he is able to care for his girls. He even tells him that he is a famous "leader". All of this is very attractive to the boys. They so want to please these men, that they are literally willing to die for them.

The Chair Is Against The Wall, John Has A Long Mustache

The prime moment is when does Mr. Eckert screams "Avenge Me". This is the most selfish thing to tell anyone. I'm about to die but I want to die knowing that someone else is gonna die. And this is all after he tells them that his brutal parenting style was to prepare them for this moment of invasion. This post is starting to have shades of The Cowboys post. I'll move on.

Now that the kids are fully brainwashed, they solidify into a very lethal strike force. But in addition to showing kids how to prepare for fights and surviving off the land/enemy, Red Dawn also prepare the viewer for the harsh realities of guerrilla warfare. Don't trust someone claiming to be a friendly solider right off the bat. Turn your grief into rage. Violence is your new therapy. Shoot traitors, period. Never leave a wounded squad member behind, in fact, kill them if you have to. Discipline is king. And it's O.K. to give a woman a gun...it's an emergency after all.

Wolverines!

This is why Red Dawn stands out as an action movie. It is fiction that tries to impact the reality of the audience. It isn't simply entertainment. Red Dawn tries to get the viewer to ask if they are prepared for an invasion. And if they aren't prepared, then the movie provides the novice with what World War III might look like. It will be hard, it will be tough, but in the end America will win through perserverance and loyalty to the Grand Ole Flag. Just sacrifice your life and your grave rock will be turned into a national park.

And isn't the promise of glory after death the best way to recruit martyrs?

Until Next I Blog,

James

P.S. Nice move stoking the fear of Gun Rights Activists by having the enemy use the gun registry to track down the gun owners and kill them. I thought that was hilarious.

Week 11: The Longest Yard

Dear Avid Reader,

Or should I just write, "What's up Jordan?"

It is so easy to get behind on this, but I'm fighting back.

Shaving Points Off Of A Football Game, Man That's Un-American

In an another movie, "The Devil's Advocate", the Devil says that his favorite sin is vanity. Vanity/pride is very tricky because it can be kinda sneaky. It can be the ninja of attributes. Because sometimes, just sometimes, what is clearly pride is named virtue. Oh yeah, that is some straight up assassin shit right there.

Paul "Ridiculous Nickname" Crewe is the embodiment of this. See Paul is a bad-ass. This makes him very likable. The way he just doesn't care. It's really attractive. Paul just casts off the beautiful woman that presumably keeps him as a man of pleasure. And rather than find contentment in the arms of carnal pleasure and the wealth that has come so easy to him, he pushes it all aside to become his own man. Whatever that means. He's a total jerk. He's a real asshole. In other words, he's the dream of men everywhere.

You've Only Got Two Things Left They Can't Sweat Out Of You Or Beat Out Of You

After his arrest and sentencing the movie is one clash of macho pride after the other. The Captain that won't relinquish control of the semi-pro guard team. The warden that needs a win in order to validate himself. The prisoners that want to hit the guards out of frustration over being jailed. The black prisoners who eventually join the team after Granny is humiliated in the prison library. The answer to every problem is giving into your pride, never backing down. This is why there is still war in the world.

And the biggest moment, the lesson of the movie, is when Pop reveals that punching the warden was worth a life sentence in jail. This of course is ridiculous. This means that you can do whatever you want so long as you accept the consequences. But that is a really awful philosophy in practice. What about when schoolyard fights escalate into gun violence? What about when getting cut-off results in road rage? What if Pop killed the warden? Would he still be thought of as endearing?

But Burt Reynolds is still a bad ass. This movie is still awesome because the underdogs overcome the bully guards. But I'm left conflicted. I mean some of these people are in jail because they are bullies themselves. These are criminals after all. Maybe they need some humility. Maybe the best thing for them would have been to lose that game.

For Nate, For Granny... For Caretaker

What is the point of this analysis? I'm not sure anymore. I started out with this really great idea, but it has gotten away from me. I guess lately I haven't been as funny in the posts as I have been in the past. That kinda sucks. Maybe I'm just in a low place personally.

Maybe it's because I hate bullies so much and this movie lightly hints at that issue for me. I want to expose that being an ultra macho, never back down guy is really dumb. It leads to pointless fighting. Rather than attack, all of these characters have a moment when they should have asked themselves, "Is this really worth it."

It's not. For me Pops, it's not worth it.

Until Next i Blog,

James

Week 10: The Cowboys

Dear Avid Reader,

Ugh. More writing. Are you even reading this? Who cares. I'm writing it anyways.

Geez I'm a real downer today. Moving on.

He's Quiet...It Just Comes Out Loud

What is it about fathers? Dads are funny and cool. But when it comes to one's own father, isn't there a little bit of resentment. Maybe even hate?

John Wayne is often blamed for the emotional withdrawal of the American father. I tend to agree with this. Look no further than this week's film. Wil Andersen is a big believer in the "tough love" school of parenting. And viewers typically get a sense that they are supposed to find this endearing. This is because the kids rally around his death and steal the cattle back from Long-Haired Dan. I think they were just worried about not getting paid.

Alright! We've Seen What You Can Do With A Boy, How Are You When They Come A Little Bigger?

Viewers shouldn't gloss over of the fact that Wil's actual children turned out to be "bad". This should give viewers pause. Even Wil admits that he might have failed them in some way. So we see that being tough is cool, so long as it is is for a month, and as an employee. It's when someone has to put up with it for an entire childhood, it kinda pisses them off. And it doesn't even teach you how to be "good", you turn out "bad". Face it, acting like John Wayne makes for a sucky parent.

There is a notion that tough love is some how good. But what is "tough love"? Let's define it, at least for parenting. The worst way I can describe it is that the parent acts straight up distant and cold, like Wil Andersen in the movie. Only showing small hints of having a warm-blooded heart. The best way I can describe it is being nice to a child until they break the rules. Then the parent MUST punish them and become an entirely mean person. It's "for their own good". But isn't that the way an employer treats an employee? Or how a cop treats a driver at a traffic stop? Isn't "for your own good" the reason that TSA gives for having to touch an air-traveler's swimsuit area?

Tough love advocates will say this definition is too simplistic, but I say it is accurate. And if they don't like my spanking by essay, then they can sit in the time out corner. Don't make me take my literary belt off.

Slap Some Bacon On A Biscuit And Let's Go! We're Burnin' Daylight!

Let's try some emotional appeal. When a parent dies do they want the following scenario?

Scene opens in a church, at a funeral. A middle-aged man walks to the podium. He looks at the open casket. The body of his father lies peacefully within. The man clears his throat and grips the podium. "My father, was a man. And above all else he expected us to be disciplined. And that is what I will remember most, his corrections. No one here could say they had a more fair or more professional father than I did. That is all." The middle-aged man walks slowly back to his pew and grips his wife's hand and cautions his own children about being disruptive in a church. Scene.

Parenting shouldn't be results based. A family isn't a company. Looking at an offspring's manners or good behavior as the chief criteria for success is dumb. It basically means that the parent is most interested in how the child is perceived by others because the offspring is a reflection of themselves. And that is, to put it eloquently, bullcrap.

Boys Are Always Guilty Of Something Nasty. What Could It Be This Time, I Wonder?

When Wil dies, he looks into the eyes of the children and tells them, that they are better than he is. He could have been encouraging them the whole cattle drive but withheld his kind words to make them hard for a harder world. In fact, in the case of Stuttering Bob, he humiliates the kid for having a speech disorder. Seriously?

But why does he relent at the end? It's because he realizes there, as life is ebbing away, what a total asshole he has been. He wants to try and go back on a lifetime of holding his loved ones at arm's length. A lifetime spent grinding rather than loving. He becomes scared. He realizes that his legacy is one of pain.

Why didn't he yield? Why didn't he accept the people closest to him even though they made mistakes? Maybe the mistakes weren't that bad. No, of course they weren't. Are his sons near? Maybe he could apologize now. No, they are long gone. They finally left him, weary from being being told they didn't measure up.

But, he was only thinking of them, right. Couldn't they see that by pushing them away he was preparing them for the cruelty they were to face after they left home? Only, now does he realize that he was taking away the only refuge someone has in the harsh reality of gowning up. He took away their home. Home became the harsh world. He turned it into a place that was not a sanctuary, but just another place they we going to be disappointed. Another place that they were excluded. Wil prepared them, all to well.

Big Mouth Don't Make A Big Man

But these kids, these cowboys that surround him now. They will remember Wil. Wil wants to change. He wants these boys to know that he is proud of them. Like Ebeneezer Scrooge, he wants a second chance. He sees the light, the error of his ways. These kids will receive all the goodness that Wil's sons never received.

But alas, it's too late. One line can't reverse the hurricane of "tough love" that Wil devoted his whole life to churning. And breaking and showing a softness here as he is dying is truly the weakest thing he can do. It proves that he wasn't brutalizing these people for them, he was doing it for himself. At this crucial moment, he looks in the face of his life and he blinks.

The casket is closed Wil. No take backs.

Until Next I Post,

James

Week 9: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Dear Avid Reader,

Today it's hard for me to come up with an angle. I kinda have half of an idea.

Why am I telling you this?

When You Have To Shoot, Shoot. Don't Talk

First off, Blondie isn't necessarily "good". The guy double-crosses Tuco, tricks lawmen with his collect the reward scheme, and he kills folks. He's kind of moral in that he feels disgust over the deaths of Civil War soldiers, but he's hardly ethical. Now I know ethics and morals are essentially the same thing, but for this post I am making a distinction. Watch me use my posting kung-fu.

Here are the definintions for this post. Morals will mean inherent goodness: Empathy, compassion, a fairness. Ethics, for this posting, will refer to rule-following: Laws, decorum, an obedience.

People With Ropes Around Their Necks Don't Always Hang

So when we see Blondie we see a man who is willing to break some rules but still has a "code". In addition to the fallen soldiers, he shows emotion when the Union Captain is wounded at the bridge. He expresses regret when Shorty is hung. He has a goodness. But he is a bandit. He steals and kills in order to survive. He also has a badness.

Angel Eyes is much easier to define. The dude is definitely "bad". He robs and kills just like the others, but there is something different about him. It's that he has no code. He tortures, he manipulates, he doesn't care about the soldiers that he works with dying. Angel Eyes has neither ethics or morals. And he loves every minute of it.

The World Is Divided In To Two Kinds Of People...

So obviously Tuco is some combination of the two. He tortures Blondie in the desert. He allows Shorty to die even though Blondie could have saved him. But he also wants to reconcile with his brother. I could go on, but I feel like you could fill in the blanks here. The guy is both good and bad.

And I think this is where we reside mostly, even though thought repulses us. But we don't want to be Tuco in the movie because we want to be good people, it's because Tuco is bullied by the other two. He gets beaten for information that he eventually gives up. Blondie isn't even touched because Angel Eyes knows it Blondie will never break. But with Tuco, Tuco will break. Tuco is weak.

Tuco he even gives up the goods to Blondie, and Blondie doesn't lay a finger on him. Blondie also steals Tuco's bullets while he's asleep. Tuco always seems to be a step behind. He gets the drop on Blondie, but Blondie quickly regains the upper hand in the relationship. Is it Tuco's bad luck, or is he just bad at being a bandit?

Canon Fire Or Storm It's All The Same To You

I think folks are willing to accept the fact that we are morally ambiguous like Tuco, but they are slower to admit that they are just as vulnerable as Tuco. Not hardened like Angel Eyes, able leaving people weak and afraid. Not as compassionate as Blondie, and thereby leaving his insight out of reach. We are blind and groping in the dark, powerless.

But as humanity collectively stands on the tombstone, rope around our neck, we know that the "good" will show pity on us. But that doesn't make us any less angry about our impotence to change the predicament. We still scream and curse the one who saved us. Out of jealousy, out of ignorance, out of madness, the music rising to cut us off.

This post is kinda depressing. AND it was like pulling teeth to write it. I guess I'm distracted this week. I'll try for more funny stuff next time.

Until Next I Blog,

James

Week 8: Enter The Dragon

Dear Avid Reader,

Sometimes folks would rather have things simple. But things are never simple. They're complicated.

I'm going to try and complicate Enter The Dragon for you now.

Don't Concentrate On The Finger Or You Will Miss All That Heavenly Glory

Here's the problem: the world has no supervillians. But the world needs supervillains, powerful, evil, and brilliant masters of destruction. They need to laugh with "MU-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA". That's right. We need people that start their laughs with "MU".

See, the universe needs folks like Han from Enter the Dragon. A dude that somehow got a bunch of money (I'm guessing a government grant). Someone who's ambitious, smart, and can hold his own in a fight. Han is all of these classically super-villianous things including a mind twisted to the brink of madness. I think that because he never fully recovered mentally from the accident that took his hand, he feels compelled to dominate the world out of an insecurity that he is no longer a whole man. So rather than get a nice prosthetic hand, the guy slaps fur on a garden hoe, then straps the grotesque contraption on his gnarled stump to slice folks in the face. In other words, he's a perfect supervillian.

Very Few People Can Be Totally Ruthless

Like all supervillians you can't go after Han directly. Sure you know every crime he's committed, but you lack evidence. He's just that good. So you have to send a guy in to infiltrate his organization and bring him down from the inside. Someone with a personal beef with the criminal-genius and also someone who has legendary butt kicking skills. Don't worry there's always a guy like that around. The Hans of the world are always killing the person that turns out to be the father of a loose cannon in the special forces. Or the daughter of a boxer that hung up his gloves after he killed an opponent in the ring. Supervillians always go one step too far. This time it was attempting to rape the sister of a spiritual kung-fu dude that...does...kung-fu...and...wait, does Lee have a job or anything? I think he's basically homeless.

Something else that troubles me is how does Han, and other supervillians, get awesome henchmen like O'Hara and Bolo? I mean. I don't think they get days off. Sure they get all of the comforts of the secret island, but what f they wanted to start a family? And what about when they get old? I don't think Han would allow them to retire. They probably have to keep henchmen-ing until they die. I think henchmen need a union. I don't think anyone is looking out for them.

Boards Don't Hit Back

So here's why the world needs supervillians. It's because it is getting harder and harder to tell who the bad guys are anymore. Han makes heroin, kidnaps the poor and conducts experiments on them, kills chicks in his harem for fun, and kills his guards when they make a mistake. He's a terrible human. It's easy to hate him.
But in reality, is it so easy to find the bad guys? It's election season, let's look through that spectrum. When does a political attack ad change from spin into lie? Here in Texas, I saw an ad that accused an opponent of allowing Texas to have one of the highest sales-tax in the country. But the thing is that Texas has no state income tax. And because taxes have to come from somewhere, Texas has higher property and sales tax. It's not anyone's fault, it's just the way it is. So was this a lie, or just stating the facts with a creepy dude's voice?

You Can Call It "The Art Of Fighting Without Fighting"

The truth is complicated. The thought is that the truth is simple because lies traditionally exaggerate or fabricate. But leaving out parts of the truth is also lying. Or is it? I don't know what to call it. I just know it's bullcrap.

If there was an alternative to having people in charge of things (like letting robots or gnomes take a crack at it), maybe things would work out better. The problem is that flawed, imperfect, gross, regular people are all there is to turn to. Even the heroes of Enter the Dragon are flawed. Lee gets captured by Han's trap, which means he can be careless. Williams and Roper are hustlers and womanizers (and one questions Roper's fighting ethics when he bites Bolo's leg). Are these the only people to count on to defeat evil. Unfortunately, the answer is yes.

Destroy The Image And You Will Break The Enemy

But if we had supervillians, then deciding who to fight would be a cinch. There would be no question as to if this was "right"or "wrong". Just look at the dude's house. It's a freaking island fortress complete with a booby-trapped dungeon-maze that's loaded with brawlers in white gis. Look, they're all punching in formation. Put the protest signs down.

But alas, the world is more sophisticated than that. Every day wrought with ethical dilemma. Such is life in the richest country in the world. But I can still dream right?

Yes, I can dream of a world filled with supervillians. I'm doing it right now.

Until Next I Blog,

James

Week 7: Donnie Darko

Dear Avid Reader,

Can a movie be awesome even though you hate it? I say yes. This is because I've seen Donnie Darko.

Go Home And Tell Your Parents Everything's Gonna Be O.K.

Donnie Darko is a terrible movie. Now I wonder if I hate this movie because it is truly awful, or because it was made for teenagers after I was no longer a teenager. Did I simply become a fuddy-duddy at 22? Maybe teenagers of this generation just like awful movies. That sounds like something a fuddy-dudy would say. These dumb teenagers and their dumb awful movies made me sound like a fuddy-duddy.

I'm going to stop typing fuddy-duddy right now.

Every Living Creature On Earth Dies Alone

Here's why I don't like the film. Everyone in the film is some form of unlikeable a-hole. The End.

Let's use Donnie as an example. Donnie is a troubled misanthrope that can't decide if he has a heart of gold or is full of rage at an unsatisfying world. He defends Cherita at the bus stop, but is a total, unjustifiable brat to his mom. He is kind to Gretchen but he is vicious to his sisters. He bullies the teachers at his school but is in turn bullied by fellow students. Donnie has it both ways. Now some might say that the character has complexity, but I disagree. He's just an unlikeable a-hole.

See, the duality isn't given nuance. Rather it relies on tropes that are all smashed together. Here are some more of the movie's smashed up tropes:

- Predominately white suburban neighborhood appears to be happy and wealthy but underneath is spiritually unfulfilling.
- Intellectual family at center of movie feels under attack from stupid and politically conservative members of community.
- Psychiatrist that pushes for more medication.
- Lone teacher who "gets" art is embattled with conservative school administration.
- Spiritual leader that is big on traditional values but has secret, deviant, sexual proclivities.
- Pop culture conversation that inserts a depth to a TV show/movie/song that reframes the work in a funny/interesting light.

Wait, I do that last one all the time. I'm doing it right now. Ignore the last line.

Why Do You Wear That Stupid Bunny Suit?

The problem isn't that the tropes are used, it's the feeling I get from them. The movie's seams are jagged and crooked. I feel like I've seen this movie before only better. There are attempts at originality, like with the time travel thing (TTT).

Now, I like the TTT, but if you start reading blog posts about it, hardcore fans seem to think that it is some huge, really deep aspect of the film. Like there is something more to it that what is offered. But there isn't, it's real simple. I'll explain. Donnie can see the immediate future through the cool, chest special effect. Frank helps Donnie understand that what he is experiencing from the plane crash on is life if he decides to live as opposed to die in the crash. He is given a the choice to sacrifice himself or Gretchen. He chooses himself. See, simple stuff. I mean this is all covered in It's A Wonderful Life. And George Bailey did act like a douche to everyone.

Time's Up Frank Said

And the TTT leads to the dumbest conversation in the movie. The one between Dr. Monnitoff and Donnie later in the movie, the second one they have. The one where we start to get into how the TTT works that ends when Monnitoff says that continuing it will cause him to get fired. Fired. For talking theoretical science. Seriously? Talking about time travel? That doesn't make any sense. Even the most backwards administration wouldn't fire the guy for talking about what is basically science fiction.

Or maybe the worst conversation is between Pomeroy and the principal when she gets fired. You know, the one where she gives her impassioned plea for the welfare of the students, minus the passion. The one where no clear reason for the firing is offered not because it's been a long time coming from constant fighting with the school leaders, but because the writer is lazy. The one where it looks like Drew is reading her lines out of a script in her lap. I hate this movie.

Sometimes I Doubt Your Commitment To Sparkle Motion

What really bugs me about the flick is that it feeds into the belief that negative people are smarter or better than people that are positive. Mrs. Pomeroy and Donnie spend the entire flick hatin', and they are the heroes of the movie. This just infuriates me. Why are the most condescending characters getting top billing? It's because it's such an easy tactic: being critical means you are more authentic, more honest.

And no one exemplifies this more than Donnie. He acts as the untouchable judge, the administrator of justice against hypocrisy, throughout the flick. But he isn't perfect. He isn't above everyone. He's just a kid with an attitude and psychological problems that has a penchant for needling community leaders publicly. Try getting elected judge with that wacky resume.

But here's the thing, the opposite is also true. It's just as honest to look for the cool things about something as it is for the lame things. It's just as authentic to say something is good as it is to say it's bad. It's also more fun to be raving about stuff. And I realize the irony of bashing a movie for an essay and then saying that it's wrong to bash things. Or is it not irony but hypocrisy? Idiocy? I hate this movie.

What's Cellar Door?

But I love this movie for one thing. At the talent show Cherie does the angel dance and all of the characters clap loudly for her. Now while some jerks scream jeers, the others just clap louder. That's what I'm talking about. We need more of that. Maybe I like this movie. I'm conflicted. Are there other cool parts? Now that I think about, there are. The school montage set to Tears for Fears early in the movie is the greatest sequence ever. It rules! It's better than the actual video for "Head Over Heels". ALL the music in the flick is great. Yeah. I'm starting to feel good about Donnie Darko.

Nah, I really hate this movie. It's an awesome movie that I hate. I'm not going to explain how that is possible. You're just going to have to go with it.

Until Next I Blog,

James

P.S. I ask "Is that Seth Rogen?" everytime he comes on-screen too.

Week 6: Scarface

Dear Avid Reader,

So Scarface is about capitalism. Let's get that out of the way. It is also the most awesome movie ever. You can't get out of the way of that. So let's just talk about the capitalism.

Lesson Number One: Don't Underestimate The Other Guy's Greed

Here's the thing about the capitalism allegory of Scarface: it shows capitalism as the awful reality of the American Dream. Tony grows up in Cuba idolizing the movie stars of Hollywood, claiming that he always knew that one day he would go to America. And why did he want to come here? Prosperity. Security. In a word, money.

When individuals talk about the American Dream, I wonder what they think that means. I guess the hokey, Pollyanna version is a life that is comfortable and secure. Chickens in pots, cars in garages and et cetera are included. The American Dream also means some kind of contentment, but that contentment seems to be conditional (or only come after) on getting the house, vacations days, and wireless internet access. The focus is on the material.

Nothing Exceeds Like Excess

This is why Scarface is such an awesome movie. It cuts to the heart of our true beliefs and fears. Tony works hard to get money. He is ruthless. He'll kill anyone that he needs to kill. He makes no bones about it. He's honest about what is happening. This honesty is what makes him an appealing character. He takes what he wants, but never lies about what he's doing to get it. He is a truly ethical capitalist.

And isn't that what every American wants? To drop their guilt? Don't we want our consumption to also be virtuous. I mean that's why we buy Tom's Shoes. In the back of every American's mind, they are just a few decisions away from being super rich. But they also fear they are a couple bad decisions away from been poor. It's what drives the economy. It's why we buy iPhones.

Scarface reminds the viewer that greed has consequences. That greed hurts someone. Tony kills people. His drug business has a terrible influence on his sister. The unchecked greed destroys Tony and everyone around. Scarface also reminds how fleeting the good times are. The movie spends a lot of time on the rise of Tony and on the fall of Tony. The small time that he enjoys his wealth can be fit in a montage.

Me, I Always Tell The Truth, Even When I Lie

I find one of the most honest scenes in the movie to be when Tony is negotiating the interest rate with the banker that is laundering his money. Sure he is bringing in more and more money, but in order for the money to be of use, he must pay more and more. Tony is faced with the reality that wealth cannot defy gravity. It is something that rich people face all the time: Growth that lasts forever does not exist. The American Dream is something you wake from.

But the most terrifying part of Scarface is the scene when Tony shoots Alberto during the NYC hit. Tony asserts himself. There are some things he just will not do in order to maintain his wealth. He knows that folks call him a "bad guy" but he truly believe that he isn't. Everyone else is just as bad, maybe more so because he doesn't hide his failings. But as soon as he takes a stand to rescue his soul, the system move quickly to remove him. Tony has now become the biggest threat to the system. He values himself above the game.

Is This It? That's What It's All About, Manny? Eating, Drinking...Snorting...Then What?

Tony's death is the realization of the fear for every rider on the roller coaster of American materialism. If at some point, if the rider wants off, will they stop the ride and let you go? When it comes time to want an identity of you own creation, will the collective strike back? Does the person that bought in get to cash out?

Yes, greed has consequences, profound, huge, big stinking consequences, and they are not that nice to think about. That something that individuals are so interwoven into could be destroying so much. Materialism is about a fear of death, and everyone is scared. Humanity just cannot move past this, still looking for the immortality application on our smart phone. But maybe it is not too late. Maybe there is something, however painful, that can right the course. Maybe it is time to say "hello" to a little friend. A little friend name "Conscience".

But it may as well be a grenade.

Until Next I Blog,

James

Week 5: Heat

Dear Avid Reader,

Man I hate Waingro. Don't you? Do you know someone that is like Waingro? I hope not.

Look at Cheritto's face when he first meets the guy. He almost doesn't want to let him into the truck. He thinks about it. There is a gut reaction to Waingro. He tells him to "stop talking" after just a few seconds of conversation. Waingro makes people want to shut him up.

Want Some Pie?

I mean seriously I could literally burn my TV for having had his image on the screen. During the robbery he hits a guard because he stumbles toward him. After being told it's because the guards are disoriented from the explosion, he still shoots the guard. Later he explains the guard was "making a move" and he "had to get it on". At the diner, it's obvious that the other members of the crew are giving him the cold shoulder. Waingro can't pick up on social cues.

Holy jumping grasshoppers in June I hate this guy. Waingro then procures the services of a lady of the evening. After fishing for compliments with regards to his lovemaking ability, he kills her. Why? Why does Waingro need to kill this women? What is freaking wrong with this guy? Waingro doesn't think.

I Am Cowboy, Looking For Anything Heavy

Great Ceaser's ghost in a tube top walking down the road and laughing at a Bazooka Joe cartoon I despise Waingro. At the bar he gives the bartender his resume of prison terms. He regards himself so highly, but he sucks so badly. Asking for "anything heavy". If you could handle "heavy" stuff, then why do you need Billy Rickett to gain an in with the bartender Waingro? And that whole "grim reaper is with you" bit is so over the top. Does he really think he's cool enough to pull that line off? I'm shocked that girl didn't laugh in his face. She probably cracked a smile and that's why she wound up dead. Waingro is a total idiot.

Then comes the betrayal. What a tool. What a pneumatic, kick-start on sale at Sears but I got it at a garage sale when I stopped with my sister cause she's trying to outfit her college room. Waingro betrays McCauley to Van Zant by giving him the location of McCauley's next hit. Once again, Waingro exaggerates his abilites by claiming to know McCauley better than he does. They took down some "major scores" according to Waingro. Man that guy just deserves it doesn't he? He totally overplays his hand. Then he turns state's evidence when Zan Zandt ends up dead. Like a punk. Waingro is a punk.

I Got Some Move I Could Make Here, Probably Be A Big Help To You

Oh by my rage filled fists and feet I want to hit Waingro. You know what, here's the thing. There are a lot of things to hate about Waingro. But the truly repulsive thing about Waingro, is his ability to stay alive. He has just enough ability to eek by. Billy Rickett thought enough of him to vouch for him. And he did get in with McCauley's crew somehow. Waingro realizes that it's McCauley outside the door in the hotel and he escapes McCauley when he tries to kill him in the diner parking lot. I mean he's such an awful human being, but you kind of have to give him a little credit. Waingro is so frustrating.

In the movie Casino, Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci) describes a person that he has no confidence in as a "guy could screw up a cup of coffee". Only he didn't say that quote exactly as I wrote it. Waingro is that guy. He lives. He survives. Despite his best efforts, he has small successes. You could say a lot about people like Waingro, but I choose to say this: Waingro could screw up a cup of coffee.

Until Next I Blog,

James

Week 4: Pee Wee's Big Adventure

Dear Avid Reader,

Is Pee-Wee supposed to be a kid or just a weird dude?

Children are people, but they just kind of suck at everything. And they are kind of selfish and mean. Kids are just a-holes who are bad at everything. There, I said it.

Be Sure And Tell 'Em "Large Marge Sent Ya"!

Pee-Wee I think is supposed to be kind of a kid. "Kind of a kid". What the heck am I writing here? Pee-Wee exhibits all the signs of being a child. He has no job. He rides a bike. He uses alternative methods to power his home. Wait...is Pee-Wee a hippie? Or a hipster? Why am I asking questions in the middle of this post?

The distorted reality is reflective of a child's distorted reality. The clown in the parking lot changes from a happy clown to a nightmarish clown in the aftermath of the bike theft. This embeds as a full blown phobia in the fragile psyche of a child. Later int he movie Pee-Wee is further tormented by image of the clown in his dreams. That and clown's are scary.

Things You Wouldn't Understand. Things You Couldn't Understand. Things You Shouldn't Understand.

The movie is cartoonish in that it exaggerates reality. When something is taken from them, people become suspicious. Do they normally gather everyone they know in a basement and begin hurling accusations? No. When someone is sitting next to a singing hobo, they become annoyed. But do they fling themselves from a train? Usually not.

But is the cartoonishness the fantasy? I think it may be reality in that the cartoon is how we actually perceive thing once we add emotional color to the facts. So, perhaps when we are children, we are as we truly are. Unfiltered. Tantrum-throwing. Suspicious. Obsessed. Dancing on a bar for bikers. Do our impulses wane with age, or do we learn to suppress them? Are extreme behaviors us escaping reality, or embracing reality? Is the person you are deep in your bones the civilized cog in the machine, or the violent warrior in the video game you play?

Is Pee-Wee a child, or an adult that is finally at peace with his true identity?

Until Next I Blog,

James

Week 3: Terminator 2

Dear Avid Reader,

What is post-modernity? Obviously it's the thing that follows modernity. And that may be really the only thing you need to know.

Probably not.

It's Not Everyday You Find Out You're Responsible For 3 Billion Deaths

Modernity is all about rules, rationality. Terminator 2 is also a movie about rules. Machines WILL turn on humanity and there WILL be a war. John Connor WILL lead the humans against the robot uprising. John WILL send a man back in time that WILL become his father. That WILL be awkward for John.

The really annoying thing about the fatalism of the Terminator timeline is that it should be broken at the end of Terminator 2. They throw all the Terminators and Terminator leftovers into the molten steel. They blow up Skynet with the inventor dude inside. The future is changed. There will be no uprising. And yet there are plenty of other Terminator movies and TV shows. So while The Terminator is like modernity, in that it is about rules, the Terminator franchise is not unlike post-modernity, in that it about breaking rules. But post-modernity is more complicated that just rule-breaking.

At least I think it is.

No Fate, No Fate But What We Make, My Father Told Me This

Let's look at another rule violator...the T-1000. The liquid guy. See, he can't be a bomb and he can't be a gun. The reason being is that bombs have chemicals and guns have complex moving parts. But if he can't form complex parts, then how can he hear? How can he speak?

I'm gonna change gears here. I realize that I am now doing that thing that people do when they talk about sci-fi films and that is to try and undermine the fiction with science. It isn't interesting.

I'm not sure I'm feeling this post. Let's try and get it back.

I Don't Know...How Much Longer I Can Ho...Hold This

The Terminator must follow the orders of John, without question. This is he ultimate in modernity. John speaks, Terminator listens. But in the end, the Terminator defies John's orders and sacrifices himself in order to ensure a peaceful future. One could argue that he is following his larger directive of protecting John. But I guess that is the point.

See, with modernity, the goal is that everything can be solved rationally. We can know everything and understand everything. If we just implement the right rules, then the system will regulate itself. Breaking a rule isn't in the program. You can't break the rules.

But the Terminator is faced with a post-modern dilemma. The best way to protect John is to destroy himself. But John orders him to stay alive and to not destroy himself. He is going to break a rule.The timeline is already set. It is inescapable.

I Asked That Very Same Question And You Know What They Told Me?

You know what? Why don't I just tell you that I love the one-liners. After watching this movie for the first time in a while, I totally forgot the saturation of "I'll be back", "Hasta la vista baby", and "Come with me if you want to live". I mean everyone has heard those lines even if they never saw the movie. And that dude became California's Governor. That's crazy right?

Yeah. I like that better than looking for how the Terminator's decision to jump into lava shows how a modern worldview is unsatisfactory and cannot work.

Until Next I Blog,

James

Week 2: Rudy

Dear Avid Reader,

Movies are propaganda. I'm like totally certain on this. When you realize that I'm right, you will be like "OMG".

Rudy is a prime example of propaganda served as light entertainment. The propaganda's goal: to convince you that shooting for the middle, that settling for less, is noble.

Yeah, I know. You're all "OMG" and et cetera.

How is it am already bored with this project? The boredom lobe in my brain is like Frank in the movie. He's screaming, "Are you kidding me? You can't write this article! Grow up! Quit NOW!"

These last four paragraphs are small, but I don't care. Frank can die a dark, lonely, screaming death in my brain. Where was I?

Five Feet Nothing, A Hundred And Nothing

Rudy begins the movie wanting to go to Notre Dame. Eventually he come across a copy of the Agama by The Buddha. From this simple text he begins to understand that his father, his brother Frank, and his fiancee are all trapped in their own suffering because they have desires. His father wants his family to be content. Frank wants a different life from his father. Sherry wants to be a mother. Throughout the movie they are disappointed because their desires go unfulfilled. Having discovered enlightenment, Rudy rejects the idea that the road to happiness is paved with Post-World War II conformity. Rudy must find his Bodhi Tree. Perhaps it grows on the campus, of Notre Dame.

Unfortunately, Rudy is merely an novice. He doesn't know yet that he has substituted one set of desires (comfortable middle-class furniture, cheap domestic beer) for another (fame via inclusion into a football program on the decline...an epic-sized "I-told-you-so" for apparently everyone he's ever met). Unfortunately Rudy has no spiritual adviser in his new found belief system. This is why the vacuum left by the desires of his family and community fills up with the desires of Notre Dame. He becomes obsessed. Notre Dame is all he can talk about. Understandably, every other character in the film is annoyed with Rudy.

There Is A God, And I'm Not Him

Fortunately, Rudy's ability to turn any conversation into a conversation about The Fighting Irish results in him having no friends. And no...D-Bob is not a friend. He doesn't even think to tell Rudy that he's moving until seconds before he skips town. It's like he was on his way out and remembered that he forgot to tell one of tutoring clients he was leaving. "Crap," he thinks, "Should I drive back?" If they were friends, Rudy would've already know that he was leaving. And he certainly would've been more crushed at the news. Instead, all Rudy thinks about is the fact that the new football coach might not dress him for a game, (i.e himself). Some friend.

The lack of distractions/friends propels Rudy's studies. He is able to conquer his learning disability and get the best grades of his life. But this doesn't bring him happiness, so he follows in The Buddha's footsteps, adopting an ascetic philosophy and begins living in an equipment closet. To further the punishment of his body, he becomes a walk-on football player. The coaches inform him that they intend to "beat the shit" out of him and the other prospective footballers. It seems to be exactly what Rudy is looking for. Rudy, delighted, promptly has the shit beaten out of him.

You Just Summed Up Your Entire Sorry Career Here In One Sentence

Still, Rudy is unsatisfied. The denial of pleasure becomes a desire itself. But there are glimmers of hope. He begins to show signs of the Noble Eight-Fold Path. The fact that he realizes that God did not put him on the earth to play football is an example of "right view". That he won't ease up in practice is an example of "right action". But of course self-actualization eludes him. That he lies about being a student to the president of the Football Boosters is a failure of "right speech". That he rubs the fact that he made the team in her face is a failure of "right intention". Let's face it, Rudy can be kind of an a-hole.

Despite his early failures, Rudy finally sheds his desires and quits the team. This brings Rudy close to reaching Nirvana, enlightenment. And what does everyone else do in the face of this incredible moment? They pile crap on him.

Seriously, this part of the movie really resonates for me. These people just spent the whole movie telling the guy he can't make the team and that he should quit. But then, when he finally does quit, when he finally realizes that the world does nothing but kick him like dog, when he finally stands up for himself, they all huddle around him and laughingly call him a quitter.

While most of the movie is sappy, this part is really the most true to life. Living life outside of what is generally accepted as normal/good brings criticism. But secretly, the critics really wish they had the courage to live by their own rules as well And that is why when the outsider relents and accepts the rules of the group, the taunts become more vicious. The act of conforming by an outsider reinforces what the rule-followers feared all along: they are trapped in the prison of tradition and communal expectations forever. No escape. Rudy, by quitting, locks the door tighter for everyone else.

The Problem With Dreamers Is They Are Usually Not Doers

This only furthers Rudy's spiritual ascendancy. By being mocked for quitting as well as not quitting, he realizes playing football is the same as quitting football. All actions are freed from moralizing. Nothing is good or bad, it simply is. Rudy rejoins the team, fully comfortable with whatever his existence becomes. This breakthrough quickly spreads to the other players. Now, being the captain of the team could mean playing against Georgia Tech, but it could also mean not playing at all. It could mean playing for the other team. It could even mean cutting up a bunch of Frisbees. The possibilities are endless.

Then we come to the final game, the end of the movie. And here is where I bring back my earlier point. I mean, there is no great significance to Rudy's accomplishment, that's obvious. He merely set a goal and met it. But the bar was so low that he couldn't help but jump over it (or even stagger over it). And that is why the movie is propaganda. In essence, the movie suggests that we set our sights for the outside rings, not the bulls-eye. That way each miss is actually a hit.

See, I proved my point. The movie is brain-washing you to settle for the middle.

I know you're at least "LOL-ing" right now.

Until Next I Blog,

James

Week 1: Top Gun

Dear Avid Reader,

Let's get one thing straight...I'm not gonna recount the movie. So go watch it or this whole project goes up in smoke before we get a chance to start. Ill wait....No. No I won't. I'm starting right now. Here's why Top Gun is awesome.

(Sidebar: Actually, after I wrote this intro, I kind of ended up recounting the movie.)

The Need For Speed

The movie has two speeds: Highway To The Danger Zone (HDZ) and Take My Breath Away (TMB). Did you notice that the movie actually uses these two songs to do a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to scoring the movie? The typical movie convention is to use a pop song once and if you have a scene that has a similar feeling, use a different song. Top Gun defies this convention and uses HDZ and TMB again and again to paint with the EXACT SAME emotional color.

Nevermind that Take My Breath Away is the worst song ever. I mean it's just the worst. I don't care that it won a Grammy and an Oscar. It's awful. And Top Gun in turn doesn't care that I hate TMB. It needs TMB like Rothko needs red. No breaks, not rest. Turning and returning to some secret place inside.

The return to these songs reinforces the story of Maverick. When the movie isn't in a airplane scene, the pace is slow, real slow. And by contrast the dogfights are very fast. This allows the viewer to better understand Maverick's worldview. When he isn't in the air, everything feel less urgent. Nothing can match the adrenaline of flying. Even the love scene is slow, passionless. To Maverick even sex is less thrilling than flying.

Flying Against A Ghost

Top Gun is a movie about men struggling to cope with the expectations on them to perform, particularly in a traditional family. At the beginning of the movie Cougar is driven nearly mad with the thought that he might die, that he might "orphan" his child. The fear that he might fail as a father crushes his ability to perform at all. The terror overtakes him and in turn fulfills the prophecy that he will fail.

Goose handles his responsibility by pushing it on to Maverick. He "can't afford to blow this" but it is not Goose that must change, it is Maverick. During the chastisement of Maverick's recklessness and it is revealed that it is the welfare Goose's family that must be considered. In this conversation, Goose effectively moves the responsibility of fatherhood onto Maverick. Maverick is no longer to "fly against a ghost" as that makes Goose "nervous". It seems the person Goose wants to be nervous about his family isn't Goose, it's Maverick.

While we're talking about Maverick and Goose, let's start looking closer at this relationship. The most common interpretation if Goose/Maverick is Goose as "ultimate wingman" to super-star Maverick. I think there is something happening beneath the surface. Goose is not the friend he appears to be. I mean doesn't he try to sabotage Maverick's date with Charlie? One wonders who decided to have a volleyball game right before the date. Maverick surely would have told Goose that he finally got the date with Charlie. Perhaps Goose, feeling that his hold over Maverick was threatened, played into Maverick's competitive nature by setting up a little game, a game with his arch-rival, Iceman. There's no way he could back down from the challenge to show-up the Salieri to his Mozart. And then, when Maverick remembers himself and tries to leave, it is Goose that approaches him and asks him to stay. "I need to take care of some things", maverick reminds Goose while attempting to keep the relationship a secret from bystanders. But Goose implores him to stay. And why should he stay? "For me," says Goose. Some wingman.

Checks Your Body Can't Cash

Throughout the movie other characters are laying responsibility on Maverick as well. And it seems to me that Maverick gets conflicting views about what he is expected to do. When Cougar has trouble landing his plane, Maverick goes back in the air to rescue him. But then he is chewed out by his CO for being reckless. Iceman wonders if Maverick abandoned his wingman to investigate the MIG but Charlie will do anything to get more information about the rare enemy airplane sighting. What should he have done exactly? Maverick breaks the rules by going below the training hard deck only after Jester uses the hard deck unfairly to avoid being attacked. Shouldn't Jester also be reprimanded? He is accused of leaving Hollywood defenseless to pursue Viper, but why couldn't Hollywood take care of Jester on his own? Is Maverick being unfairly blamed for Hollywood's failure? Maverick, like the typical modern man, is lost on what the "right" thing to do is.

In the classroom, Maverick is singled out and dressed down for making maneuvers that are too risky. However, Slider secretly tells Maverick that his moves are "gutsy". Early in the movie, Viper claims to like arrogance/brashness in his pilots, but in the class, he doesn't seem to appreciate the aggressiveness of Maverick's flying. Charlie likewise recants and tells Maverick that his flying is "genius". Maverick is caught in the classic pitfall of education. While Fightertown may be the home of the best flying school, it looks like it still teaches to the high stakes test, asking its students to not learn but rather repeat back the answers it wants to hear. This is why a consummate rule follower like Iceman is able to excel. The apple polishers always do.

Right Up Until The Part Where You Get Killed

All of these swirling responsibilities come to a head in HOP 31. The evening before, we glimpse how Maverick's acting out is the product of a dysfunctional relationship with Goose. We learn Goose has betrayed his friendship with Maverick when Carol reveals embarrassing secrets of Maverick's love life to Charlie. In this way, Goose controls both sides of the Maverick equation. He enjoy Maverick's exploits, tempting him into more and more danger (i.e. sleeping with an Admiral's daughter, having sex in a public bar) but he can also make Maverick feel the shame of those actions by telling his wife the details of the antics who looks on them as foolish, even harmless.

Upon closer examination, we see that Goose has become the father figure that Maverick lacks, and also Carol his mother. in the shower scene after HOP 19 (Viper shoots down Maverick) Maverick explains to a disappointed Goose that it will never happen again. Goose coldly replies that he "knows". This emotional distance is obviously a ploy by Goose to control Maverick by withholding his affections until Maverick performs adequately.

Realizing that Charlie may become a threat to their control over Maverick, Carol invites Charlie into the family by stating that Maverick is in love with her. By doing this, Carol implies that Maverick is incapable of figuring this out for himself, or at least that he lacks the ability to articulate it. To her, Maverick is a child, not a man. The family then adorns a Rockwell-ian mask of normalcy by gathering around the piano to sing.

Later that night Charlie repeats the line "Take me to bed or lose me forever" as a sign that she wants to emulate Carol. Perhaps she sees that acting like Carol is the only way Maverick will love her, or maybe she want to replace Carol as the dominate female in the family. At any rate, by becoming Carol, Charlie allows Maverick to give in to his oedipal fantasies. This scene, and it's underlying subtexts, I feel aptly reflects the complicatied relationship between the private defense industry and the military.

No Points For Second Place

HOP 31 begins ordinarily enough but quickly changes. Iceman attempts to quell his impotent rage by finally breaking a rule and cutting off Maverick while in pursuit of a target. Iceman is unable to complete the task of firing upon his target as he is not used to flying in such an unorthodox manner. With his plan to be more like innovative Maverick backfiring and he disengages causing Maverick's plane to go out of control by catching him in his jet wash. This leads to Goose dying during the emergency ejection. Later on, Iceman apologizes to Maverick about Goose's death. Is the statement "I'm sorry" merely an attemtp to share sympathy over the loss of a common friend? Or perhaps it is the slip of a guilty conscience? Perhaps the ice-cold flyer they call Iceman finally made a mistake? Pehaps Iceman realized that a man died becasue it was he, IT WAS HE, that foolishly flew too close to the sun? What now Iceman? The curtain is drawn! We SEE you Iceman! There is no escape! You have finally slipped up and it is me, ME who has truly seen your face! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

At any rate, like Cougar, Maverick is faced with his greatest fear: having to fully accept his role as a man, husband, and father. Outside the door before meeting with Carol, Maverick pauses to fight off the tears. "Real men don't cry," he seems to say. What Carol says to Maverick is truly revealing. "God, he loved flying with you Maverick. But he'd have flown anyway, without you. He'd have hated it but he would have done it." By saying this Carol is explaining that as the new father, Maverick must put aside all emotions and doubts and accept his new place as leader. Even if he hates it, the role demands total service. As Maverick struggles to fight the tears, Carol gentle touches his face and coos at the show emotion. She leaves, unable to watch as Maverick shows this weakness leaving Maverick in total humiliation.

You Got To Let Him Go Sir

In the aftermath, Maverick is sent reeling for what to do now that another father has left him. He looks a a photograph of he and Goose. This continues a motif of photographs being a link to what a man must be. Cougar looks at a photo of his family and, in staring at that image of his responsibilities, is driven mad. Maverick stared at a photo of him and his birth father after he disappointed Goose. Maverick stares at the photo of him and his replacement father, Goose, tragically dies. And as he looks at a picture of his father in Viper's home, Viper enters the room, potentially becoming the next man to control Maverick.

But Viper is a different sort of man. "You have to let him go," he tells Maverick in the locker room after the training accident. The universe seems to push push Maverick to a more enlightened state. The first thing Maverick hears after Goose's death is "You gotta let him go." But who should he let go? His real father? Goose? Maverick begins to realize that he must defy the expectations that others have created for him. The ideal father is nothing more than a photograph, two-dimensional, frozen, unreal, inhuman. It is impossible to become the perfect man seen in the picture. Maverick glimpses another way in Viper. Viper was in a similar situation when Maverick's father died. He could have become a surrogate to Maverick. But Viper refused, leaving Maverick to cling to anyone that wanted the job. Viper wants no part of the traditional, macho-man construct that Maverick believes he must become. Maverick begins to realize there is another way. He must let "him", the man others what him to be, go.

The final dogfight is a mini-drama of Maverick's spiritual journey. He must struggle with fear of blowing it at the key moment. Once again Iceman pins the entire outcome on the performance of Maverick. Can Maverick endure the pressure? Iceman also seems to be thrilled with the prospect of dying as proof that he is better/braver/more of a man than Maverick. He must think that dying "honorably" would probably fit nicely in his application for grad school. His morbid desire for approval will likely serve him well come scholarship competition time.

The final battle for Maverick happens in that final dogfight. It's when Maverick begins to say, "Talk to me Goose." In the most dire of situations he reverts to his old way of beliefs, that he must rely on the expectations and desires of his father. And as he cries out for daddy, what is the response? Silence. Maverick is alone in the empty sky. There is no one but himself. He must fill the empty sky with his own desires and beliefs. He hits the breaks, and everything flies right by.

Negative Ghost Rider The Pattern Is Full

I don't want to listen to your comments on intentionality. So save them.

I think there are layers to this movie. I mean it's an action film right? But there is so little action. So what kind of movie is it? Watch for what is in each of the frames, they are so sparse. You don't see a lot of crazy explosions. People move slowly in each shot. This creates a delicate feel to the movie. It really does feel fragile. How is this achieved?

And another thing to consider, who is the villain in this movie? The Russians? They only appear for like a total of 10 minutes. Iceman? Isn't he more of a d-bag teammate than villain? The real villain is Maverick's inner demons. This is remarkable for a so called "action" movie. Shouldn't there be an over-the-top bad guy to beat up? These are what I'd consider bold choices for a mindless action movie.

Slider, You Stink

Now the AFI includes The French Connection and Jaws in their lists. They even include Rocky, but I'm not sure why (That's right, I went there). So the AFI is aware that action is a valuable genre. But here are the films that were up for Best Picture in 1987:

Platoon
Children of a Lesser God
Hannah and Her Sisters
The Mission
A Room With A View

I submit that, with the exception of Platoon, Top Gun is a better picture than these films. Especially now that you know what is really going on with regards to the plot. You probably haven't even seen these movies. Have you? I haven't. And I didn't even know they existed until I went to Wikipedia to look up the nominees. They surely aren't as enjoyable or memorable as Top Gun. If they were, someone would have recommended them to me by now.

Anyway, that's all. That's the first post. I don't know if I'll be able to match the output, or creativity, on other films. We'll see.

Until Next I Blog,

James

P.S. Can you believe I came up with all this bullcrap in one day? I did. You know this is gonna be a great blog. And also, why does the character Wolfman keep mentioning the status of his erections? He does this twice in the movie. I wonder how the actor felt knowing that he essentially had one line, and it was about his junk?