Week 43: Dirty Dancing

Dear Avid Reader,

Start writing. It's pretty fun.

That's what I keep telling myself.

Yo Cuz, What's She Doing Here?

In the Star Trek episode "Tapestry", Picard has to come to grips with his past. He has regrets, specifically, a nearly fatal bar brawl that requires him to have an artificial heart transplant. But through an experience constructed by the character Q, he realizes that pulling at the loose threads of his life, the regretful parts, would unravel the tapestry of his life.

It's a great episode that i think about when ever I daydream. But one of the problems of that episode is that we don't full experience of the regretful action. Picard only chooses to fight the Nausicaans toward the end of the show. Most of the show is Picard dodging the fight.

Oh Come On Ladies, God Wouldn't Have Given You Maracas If He Didn't Want You To Shake 'Em

Now in Dirty Dancing, we the whole thing feels right. The film is pitch perfect for a big beautiful mess. In life, throwing everything in the air just to chase the feeling of love/lust is par for the course. Especially when you are 16-22 years old. The story of Baby and Johnny is almost a documentary of this phenomenon. It really is.

It's the little things. How quickly Baby starts lying to her parents (money for the abortion, agreeing to not see Johnny again). How quickly things get out of hand (agreeing to help with an abortion, agreeing to become a dancer). How quickly she encounters human ugliness (Robbie, her dad's prejudices, her sister's scorn, the abortion doctor's poor work). All of this happens the moment she decides to try and do things on her own. The film just feels so right. Right down to Baby being convinced that all those women really were using Johnny and not the other way around. Only an idiot kid would fall for that line.

You Were Right, Johnny. You Can't Win No Matter What You Do

But the problem is the ending of the movie. It would end in the total opposite way. Robbie would never have been found out and Jake would have given him that money. Baby and Johnny would never see each other again. In fact Johnny may have been arrested. Wait, why wasn't Johnny arrested?

And Baby's dad would never have relented. The evidence that his way of life is correct is all around him. He has money, a great job, other rich people like Max fall over themselves trying to please him. And a dance number is gonna shake his resolve? There's no way that dude stays quiet while his daughter yells at him on a dock. The kind of guy Jake is, he's gonna slap his dirty whore of a daughter's mouth shut.

I Carried A Watermelon

So, the ending is the only part of the movie that I don't like. Because it rings false to the emotional tone of the rest of the flick. But I have a solution: a new ending. Get ready cause it's genius. Everything in the movie is the same until we get to the talent show. The cast is singing Voices Hearts and Hands. Max gets done talking about how it's all "slipping away", then the camera focuses on Baby in her corner. We zoom in on her face. Voices Hearts and Hands is still fading in the background as we fade to the scenic campus of Mount Holyoke.

We have fast forwarded to Baby in college. Baby is sitting on the lawn with her fellow students. All of them are women, slightly liberal, and are engaged in a discussion about women's rights or how terrible Vietnam is. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she sees some painters loading up their gear into a truck. She sees Johnny place a a paint can and roller in the truck bed and head back inside of the building to get more. Baby instantly gets up and runs over to talk to him. Just then, an attractive older women pulls up to the work site with a kid in the backseat. The two of them pile out of the car and surround Johnny, who embraces the woman and gives her a long kiss. Baby looks on, and watches as the family and paint truck drive off. She returns to the group, already calling her back, eager to return to their protest planning. The camera pans back and then onto the sky while Time Of My Life plays in the background.

Roll credits.

The Steps Aren't Enough, You Have To Feel The Music

See, that's how it actually ends. If Johnny had tried to come back to the hotel, he would have had the crap kicked out of him and been summarily arrested. Jake would never have allowed that greaseball to dance with his daughter, no matter what his wife said. Max would certainly never have allowed the dancing mayhem to ensue. Neil still would have tried to hit on Mrs. Houseman, with varying success. Tito would have still been awesome.

See, these things never end well. It's because the participants arearen't really in love. Baby didn't love Johnny, she just wanted to defy her father and become an adult. Johnny didn't love Baby, he just wanted to get with a young girl. O,r if you want to give johnny some credit, maybe he once again used sex to exact revenge on those wealthy jerks who look down on him. And let's say they do run off together and Johnny becomes some sort of dancing visionary, he still doesn't become successful overnight. There are still years of rejection ahead. Years of poverty. Baby is unprepared for that kind of existence, especially after she has spent her youth preparing to be an empowered women during the 60's. This is a pure summer fling. To say otherwise is bullshit.

The regret of these events propel the two characters to greater triumph. Johnny has modest success, owning a painting business and being an above average father. He never dances again. The memories of Baby are too painful. Baby goes on to become the best civil rights lawyer in the country, never stopping to have a family as no man could live up to the memory of that summer with Johnny. The bitterness of never having a husband and never completing "the lift" drives her to punish her rivals in court.

Like all passionate affairs, this one should end in tragedy, consumed in it's own fire.

Back to your corner Baby.

Until Next I Blog,

James