Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Week 21: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

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Why Would We Lie To Ourselves?

If someone with a had a time machine, he would probably have a lab coat on. I guess he would also probably be a man because I used "he" instead of "she" to describe the person. I guess that is sexist, but what can you do. People who work on theoretically impossible projects are typically men. At least that is what studies show.

Before stepping into the time machine the lab-coated gentleman would explain to the subject he wanted to transport the dangers of walking around in a different time. The subject should avoid any disruptions to the timeline. It would have catastrophic consequences. The subject might wonder aloud why they should even be attempting this. The scientist might mutter under his breath something about the subject sounding just like the fools at the university he used to work at. And also how unfair is was that the subject's gender was never mentioned in this paragraph.

The Only True Wisdom Consists In Knowing That You Know Nothing

Time travel would be tricky. No doubt. I assume most folks would want time travel in order to change something in their past. Something that they wished never happened, something they wish they had pursued, maybe even avert some disaster. I used to work with a guy who legitimately believed that 9/11 and the JFK assassination were perpetrated by time travelers that were preventing World War III. This is real. This guy exists. And why they didn't stop World War II also bothers me. I guess the people of the future are Holocaust deniers.

That Conversation Made More Sense This Time

Unfortunately changing the past always has unintended consequences. But Bill & Ted don't really worry about these problems. And the problems of time travel never happen. Lincoln doesn't get put back in his own time and lose the Civil War. Beethoven doesn't die from a disease from his future that his body can't fight. Sigmund Freud doesn't stop doing cocaine. And I think this is really what people should want from time travel. Basically, time travel tourism.

I think I fantasize about where to visit more than things I would want to change. I'd like to see Chamberlin's 100 point game. Martin Luther nailing the 99 Thesis on the church door. The first Guttenberg Bible coming off the press. Cool stuff like that. Why try and tell the fifteen year-old version of yourself that they should change their college major? I'd probably just think I was another adult to defy. Unless I bought him beer or something. Then I (15 year-old me) would think I (31 year-old me) was cool.

Be Excellent To Each Other

I think a lot about trying to change things. But it is always coupled with a fear that I would end up unraveling something that I love by accident. Like If I were looking for a new job, if I got one, what would I miss about the one I have now? It will probably be something I am not even aware of. Like the chairs.

The chairs? Really? Well I guess maybe. Chairs. Hmmmm.

You Are Dealing With The Oddity Of Time Travel With The Greatest Of Ease

I'm not sure of the strength of this essay. I feel like the weekly writing is starting to expose the limits of my creativity. Like I'm finally scraping the bottom of the barrel. Right now I would like to go into the future and see if I am going to write a better essay next week so I can feel better about mailing it in right now. But I think traveling forward would be the worst thing to do. That would ruin the best part of this project and that is actually writing them. The outcome should be the least of my concerns.

The feeling after running is the best. Relief. Accomplishment. Knowledge. Energy. But that feeling is so temporary. The same is for this blog. I gear up to do it and then once I finish, I feel great. But when it comes time to do the next one, it feels like the ideas won't come. Like the hill I just ran last week got taller. How can the hill keep getting bigger?

Everything Is Different, But The Same... Bigger, And Yet Smaller

And maybe that is what time travel is. A desire to not have to climb the hill. Rather, the traveler can just go back and tell himself to not do the regretful act. Screw the damage to the space-time continuum! I want to not feel regret!

It's sad. That's why Bill and Ted had it right. Time travel should only be used to help with homework.

Until Next I Blog,

James

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