Dear Avid Reader,
A bespectacled, 30-foot, green, scaly dragon enters his cave and sits on his couch, weary from work. His roommate, a 5' 9", scrawny man wearing a threadbare knit cap and Limp Bizkit t-shirt, enters from his room and sits next to the dragon.
This is their story. It's not mine.
A bespectacled, 30-foot, green, scaly dragon enters his cave and sits on his couch, weary from work. His roommate, a 5' 9", scrawny man wearing a threadbare knit cap and Limp Bizkit t-shirt, enters from his room and sits next to the dragon.
This is their story. It's not mine.
Weight Has Nothing To Do With It
Bro-seph: Sup bra. Just get off work?
Dragon: Yeah. It's been a brutal day.
B: F*****g hear you son. Work sucks.
D: Yeah.
(Dragon turns on TV, checks over his recorded shows)
D: Oh, Back to the Future. I love this movie.
B: Huh. Haven't seen it in like forever. F*****g play it dude. Work doesn't start for like a half an hour.
D: Alright. Here we go.
Dragon: Yeah. It's been a brutal day.
B: F*****g hear you son. Work sucks.
D: Yeah.
(Dragon turns on TV, checks over his recorded shows)
D: Oh, Back to the Future. I love this movie.
B: Huh. Haven't seen it in like forever. F*****g play it dude. Work doesn't start for like a half an hour.
D: Alright. Here we go.
And Jack Benny Is Secretary Of The Treasury
(Minutes Pass)
B: His band sucks.
D: Marty's? The Pinheads?
B: Yeah. What the f*** kinda song was that?
D: I think it was just the riff from Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News.
B: It sucks.
D: You know, Huey decided to do the music for this movie after Ray Parker Jr. allegedly ripped the song Ghostbusters off of I Want a New Drug.
B: Hell yeah. I'd totally rip this s*** off and make some serious bank. I'm totally starting my band back up.
D: I'm sure there are plenty of directors that are looking for Huey Lewis inspired covers for their projects.
B: F*** yeah. Kick a**.
B: His band sucks.
D: Marty's? The Pinheads?
B: Yeah. What the f*** kinda song was that?
D: I think it was just the riff from Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News.
B: It sucks.
D: You know, Huey decided to do the music for this movie after Ray Parker Jr. allegedly ripped the song Ghostbusters off of I Want a New Drug.
B: Hell yeah. I'd totally rip this s*** off and make some serious bank. I'm totally starting my band back up.
D: I'm sure there are plenty of directors that are looking for Huey Lewis inspired covers for their projects.
B: F*** yeah. Kick a**.
What The Hell Is A Gigawatt?
(Minutes Pass)
B: That doctor dude is a s****y shot.
D: Doc Brown? He's probably a little nervous because the Libyans have AK's.
B: Phst. Whatevah. If those a****les started shooting at me, I'd f*****g blow their heads off. Dude's dealing with terrorists and he's only carrying a f*****g revolver? Gotta represent!
D: Aren't you late for work?
B: Nah, I can stay for a while. It doesn't get busy until like seven.
B: That doctor dude is a s****y shot.
D: Doc Brown? He's probably a little nervous because the Libyans have AK's.
B: Phst. Whatevah. If those a****les started shooting at me, I'd f*****g blow their heads off. Dude's dealing with terrorists and he's only carrying a f*****g revolver? Gotta represent!
D: Aren't you late for work?
B: Nah, I can stay for a while. It doesn't get busy until like seven.
Calvin Klein? It's Written All Over Your Underwear
(Minutes Pass. Bro-Seph steps out of his room wearing his work uniform.)
B: Alright, what'd I miss?
D: It's the night of the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. Marty and his mom are parked and waiting for George.
B: Cool.
(Pause)
B: Damn she's hot.
D: Yeah?
B: I'd totally hit that. If I was him, I'd be all over it.
D: It's his mom.
B: So. You can't be passing that up.
D: You are gross.
B: You're telling me that you wouldn't hit that.
D: Absolutely not. If I knew it was my mother, I couldn't possibly bring myself to try anything sexual with her.
B: P***y.
D: Why do you do this? Why do you always try and ruin things for me. Since you went into your room to get changed, I've been having a great time. I began to reflect on how as we age, we forget how free and energetic our youth was. When we first meet Marty's mom, she is restrictive, and when we see her as a teenager, she is uninhibited. It's completely understandable and natural to try and protect your children from the mistakes you've made, but on the other hand it is totally hypocritical and foolish. And this dynamic is explored in this very light movie. Don't you ever think about things like that?
B: Whatever. You would totally nail her.
B: Alright, what'd I miss?
D: It's the night of the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. Marty and his mom are parked and waiting for George.
B: Cool.
(Pause)
B: Damn she's hot.
D: Yeah?
B: I'd totally hit that. If I was him, I'd be all over it.
D: It's his mom.
B: So. You can't be passing that up.
D: You are gross.
B: You're telling me that you wouldn't hit that.
D: Absolutely not. If I knew it was my mother, I couldn't possibly bring myself to try anything sexual with her.
B: P***y.
D: Why do you do this? Why do you always try and ruin things for me. Since you went into your room to get changed, I've been having a great time. I began to reflect on how as we age, we forget how free and energetic our youth was. When we first meet Marty's mom, she is restrictive, and when we see her as a teenager, she is uninhibited. It's completely understandable and natural to try and protect your children from the mistakes you've made, but on the other hand it is totally hypocritical and foolish. And this dynamic is explored in this very light movie. Don't you ever think about things like that?
B: Whatever. You would totally nail her.
Are You Telling Me That This Sucker Is Nuclear?
(Minutes Pass. The final scene ends. Credits roll.)
B: What? That's it? What happens to them?
D: That's all covered in the other two movies.
B: That blows. Did you record the other ones?
D: Maybe, let me check.
B: Nah forget it, I'm late already.
D: Too bad. I will miss your insight as I watch the other two.
B: If they are like this one, then I don't want to watch them.
D: You don't like Back to the Future?
B: Hell no. The music sucks, there's no sex, and it's boring.
D: I can't believe what I'm hearing. This is an American classic. I thought everyone loved this movie.
B:Everyone that's a p***y.
D: Just go. Leave. Go to work. Stop ruining the things I love.
B: Later.
D: God I have to find another place to live.
Until Next I Blog,
James
B: What? That's it? What happens to them?
D: That's all covered in the other two movies.
B: That blows. Did you record the other ones?
D: Maybe, let me check.
B: Nah forget it, I'm late already.
D: Too bad. I will miss your insight as I watch the other two.
B: If they are like this one, then I don't want to watch them.
D: You don't like Back to the Future?
B: Hell no. The music sucks, there's no sex, and it's boring.
D: I can't believe what I'm hearing. This is an American classic. I thought everyone loved this movie.
B:Everyone that's a p***y.
D: Just go. Leave. Go to work. Stop ruining the things I love.
B: Later.
D: God I have to find another place to live.
Until Next I Blog,
James
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