Dear Avid Reader,
Two Strangers On A Plane. The are completely unassuming except the gentleman has no body save for his head and the lady is a very attractive blond that is also a cyborg-mermaid.
Two Strangers On A Plane. The are completely unassuming except the gentleman has no body save for his head and the lady is a very attractive blond that is also a cyborg-mermaid.
And Leon Is Getting Larger
Gentleman: Looks like there's gonna be rain when we land.
Lady: Excuse me?
Gentleman: There's rain in Boulder. Rain tomorrow too. You live in Boulder?
Lady: Oh no. Just visiting.
Gentleman: Oh.
Lady: Excuse me?
Gentleman: There's rain in Boulder. Rain tomorrow too. You live in Boulder?
Lady: Oh no. Just visiting.
Gentleman: Oh.
It Happened To Barbara Stanwyck
(The plane begins it's ascent into the swirling clouds)
Gentleman: Who are you visiting? In Boulder?
Lady: It's a wedding. My sister's.
Gentleman: Oh that's wonderful. Just wonderful. I love weddings.
Lady: Hmmm.
Gentleman: I'm Tom. Tom York. I'm headed back home after a work trip in Baltimore. Or was it Jacksonville?
Lady: What work do you do?
Gentleman: Exotic Dancer. Been doing it for 3 years. Just coming home from the national conference.
Lady: Interesting.
Gentleman: Before that I was a Citrus Fruit Dyer. That's what my father and his father him did. But I just had this itch to get out and see the world. It's hard, but worthwhile.
Lady: Hmmm.
Gentleman: Who are you visiting? In Boulder?
Lady: It's a wedding. My sister's.
Gentleman: Oh that's wonderful. Just wonderful. I love weddings.
Lady: Hmmm.
Gentleman: I'm Tom. Tom York. I'm headed back home after a work trip in Baltimore. Or was it Jacksonville?
Lady: What work do you do?
Gentleman: Exotic Dancer. Been doing it for 3 years. Just coming home from the national conference.
Lady: Interesting.
Gentleman: Before that I was a Citrus Fruit Dyer. That's what my father and his father him did. But I just had this itch to get out and see the world. It's hard, but worthwhile.
Lady: Hmmm.
There's A Sale At Penny's
(The plane finds it's cruising altitude and turns off the seatbelt sign)
Gentleman: What do you do?
Lady: I boil human hair for use in wigs. I also train crocodiles. I'd like to train crocs full time, but with the economy and dynamite rain...
Gentleman: I hear ya. It's tough out there.
Lady: I'm Carol by the way.
Gentleman: It's to meet you Carol. You fly often?
Lady: Rarely. I think I've flown twice in the last year. For my other sister's wedding and then to escape the overgrown beaver that destroyed the castle I was living in.
Gentleman: How was your other sister's wedding.
Lady: Beautiful. It was suspended above a bathtub of pit vipers while we all played Game Boys. She's very traditional.
Gentleman: That's the way it should be. The computer that decides what clothes I wear is super traditional.
Lady: Oh that reminds me that I need to pick up cave diapers. Mine were all destroyed during the beaver incident. (sniff) It was a very difficult time:
(Gentleman wipes her tears away with revolver)
Gentleman: There there. it will be alright.
Lady: Thank you. Look at me. Making a fool of myself in front of a total stranger.
Gentleman: Yes. Yes you are.
Gentleman: What do you do?
Lady: I boil human hair for use in wigs. I also train crocodiles. I'd like to train crocs full time, but with the economy and dynamite rain...
Gentleman: I hear ya. It's tough out there.
Lady: I'm Carol by the way.
Gentleman: It's to meet you Carol. You fly often?
Lady: Rarely. I think I've flown twice in the last year. For my other sister's wedding and then to escape the overgrown beaver that destroyed the castle I was living in.
Gentleman: How was your other sister's wedding.
Lady: Beautiful. It was suspended above a bathtub of pit vipers while we all played Game Boys. She's very traditional.
Gentleman: That's the way it should be. The computer that decides what clothes I wear is super traditional.
Lady: Oh that reminds me that I need to pick up cave diapers. Mine were all destroyed during the beaver incident. (sniff) It was a very difficult time:
(Gentleman wipes her tears away with revolver)
Gentleman: There there. it will be alright.
Lady: Thank you. Look at me. Making a fool of myself in front of a total stranger.
Gentleman: Yes. Yes you are.
Why I Can Make A Hat Or A Brooch Or A Pterodactyl
(The plane rumbles through some mild turbulence.)
Lady: Is it hard to be away from your family during these trips?
Gentleman: It is. My wife and my tree wife are the center of my life right now. And it being harvest at the clenched fist, well, you can imagine I need to hurry home.
Lady: That's so nice. My father worked a catastrophe orchard and sand Mp3 files. My fondest memories are of my times burning the houses down.
Gentleman: Yes, (sniff) it is a wonderful world. Look now you are spreading the fool all around this cabin.
Lady: We are certainly a pear.
Lady: Is it hard to be away from your family during these trips?
Gentleman: It is. My wife and my tree wife are the center of my life right now. And it being harvest at the clenched fist, well, you can imagine I need to hurry home.
Lady: That's so nice. My father worked a catastrophe orchard and sand Mp3 files. My fondest memories are of my times burning the houses down.
Gentleman: Yes, (sniff) it is a wonderful world. Look now you are spreading the fool all around this cabin.
Lady: We are certainly a pear.
How About Mister Rogers?
(The cockpit explodes and the cabin plummets to the ground from 37,000 feet.)
Lady: Oh just my luck. And right before the in-flight too.
Gentleman: It was Airplane. That funny movie. Have you seen it before?
Lady: Oh yes. I love that movie. Don't you think it's interesting that it is still fresh after all these years.
Gentleman: I know. It's a spoof. You'd think the humor would seem very dated, but it doesn't. The only bad thing about it is how you can trace the line from it to those awful spoof movies you see now. Like Scary Movie, or Epic Movie...
Lady: Oh, I do hate those movies. But Airplane. I remember seeing it when I was very young, but those images stuck with me. Like the "drinking problem" gag or when the kid's I.V. gets unplugged. At this point they aren't even funny parts of the movie because they are such an integral part of my memories.
Gentleman: For me it's the zaniness of Johnny. His non-sequiturs, right out of left field. I love that kind of humor.
Lady: Well, it has been nice talking with you Tom.
Gentleman: You too Carol.
Lady: Maybe you could bring the family to the wedding. You know. My sister's.
Gentleman: I think that would be lovely.
Until Next I Blog,
James
Lady: Oh just my luck. And right before the in-flight too.
Gentleman: It was Airplane. That funny movie. Have you seen it before?
Lady: Oh yes. I love that movie. Don't you think it's interesting that it is still fresh after all these years.
Gentleman: I know. It's a spoof. You'd think the humor would seem very dated, but it doesn't. The only bad thing about it is how you can trace the line from it to those awful spoof movies you see now. Like Scary Movie, or Epic Movie...
Lady: Oh, I do hate those movies. But Airplane. I remember seeing it when I was very young, but those images stuck with me. Like the "drinking problem" gag or when the kid's I.V. gets unplugged. At this point they aren't even funny parts of the movie because they are such an integral part of my memories.
Gentleman: For me it's the zaniness of Johnny. His non-sequiturs, right out of left field. I love that kind of humor.
Lady: Well, it has been nice talking with you Tom.
Gentleman: You too Carol.
Lady: Maybe you could bring the family to the wedding. You know. My sister's.
Gentleman: I think that would be lovely.
Until Next I Blog,
James
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