Dear Avid Reader,
Birdemic kicks off a series on movies that are bad, but somehow are good. Only two movies are so bad they're GREAT: Troll 2 and The Room. I hope you have the oppurtunity to watch them.
I Hear A Mountain Lion
A room, in a public place. A bench. Two men.
Petronius: Hear's what I'm saying. I'm saying that you can't possibly understand the entire issue.
Cosmas: I've done my research. Iget it.
P: No you haven't. Why would you lie?
C: I'm not lying. I know each side of the issue.
P: So you are an expert on 1?
C: I'd say so.
P: But you're not hearing me.
C: I think I am. It's just wrong.
Oh, Lovers On The Moon
P: Look, you feel 1, but what about 45?
C: Never. Totally beyond the pale.
P: But 45. 17. 479.
C: 1.
P: 42, 43, 44, 45. 45, 75, 45.
C: 1. 1, 1 1, 1. Until I'm dead.
P: You can't seriously disregard 88. 723, 67.
C: No no no no no no no. 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1.
P: 45. 88, 94. But what about 17.
C: 1 1 1 1 1.
P: 16. 8. 5.
C: 1.
We Must Act More Like Astronauts, Spacemen Taking Care Of Spaceship Earth
P: *sigh* You probably even can't agree 3. Or 1.25.
C: 1.25? Yes. 1.25. I see that.
P: 1.25? We agree 1.25. Awesome. 1.5. 1.75.
C: 1.25. O.K. 1.75.
P: 1.75
C: 2.
P: Let's quit while we're ahead.
Until Next I Blog,
James
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Week 32: Boyz N The Hood
Dear Avid Reader,
Sometimes work sucks.
Luckily, I have sick days left.
One Out Of Every Twenty-One Black American Males Will Be Murdered In Their Lifetime
People are weird. For some reason they want certainty and they do not like subtlety. Sometimes I think that what is referred to as the "Dumbing Down of America" is merely the desire for some kind of guarantee. See it's not that the country is dumb, it's that we prefer that you spell things out.
Maybe we are just dumb too.
Most Will Die At The Hands Of Another Black Male
But this spelling out of things is why Boyz N The Hood is so bad as a movie. While there is truth to the movie, especially when it was originally released, the brow beating that viewers take during the two hours of the flick is mind numbing. Ricky's story is fully disclosed when young Doughboy asks him why he carries a football everywhere. Within the first five minutes they set the kid up with so much potential for good that they may have given him a jersey with a target on it.
The Next Day Doughboy Saw His Brother Buried
But this movie was probably conceived of as a wake up call to White/Rich America. So the makers probably felt like they needed to be a little preachy in the name of "keeping it real". But that still doesn't explain the completely ridiculous hissy fit that Tre throws after being hassled by the cops.
And aren't the cops the most interesting characters in the show? You got that completely disinterested white cop and the insanely aggressive black cop. I wonder what their relationship is like off camera. Is the black cop really talkative and annoying during the patrol? Is the white cop a brown-noser back at the station? Do they get along with the other cops? Are they racist as individuals or are they merely trapped in a system that forces them to act in oppressive ways?
So many questions.
Two Weeks Later He Was Murdered
But if the movie was going to try and give a truly accurate presentation of life in 90's South Central L.A., it would last years. It would be HBO's The Wire (which you should totally watch). And they weren't making a series, they were making a movie, so it needed to be pretty explicit in terms of action. They wanted to present a world and do it quickly. Pausing for artfulness would have popped the sheltered viewer out of the message.
"Why don't they just get a job," Redneck McGee would say, "I have problems but you don't see me shooting folks."
No but you also don't have a helicopter flying overhead at all hours like you live in a prison colony either. This section of the essay is called using a "straw man". I don't feel bad for doing it either.
In The Fall Tre Went To Morehouse College In Atlanta, Georgia
I don't think it's only an America phenomenon, or a white people phenomenon, wanting answers is what all the world wants. The problem is that the world is too complex to provide easy answers. Who, What, When, and Where, a cinch, it's Why that's a bugaboo. Add emotion and confusion turns into rage.
This is why shouting shows are the way most people get the news. We don't want the nuanced reality of how our collective problems start with the little compromises we make in every second of each day. Give us someone to blame.
With Brandi Across the Way At Spelman College
This post sucks. You just read a sucky post. I hope the next one is better.
Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. Maybe the quality of this post is the product of a very sophisticated society and my words are only what was fated to occur. I had no control over whether this post was good or not. It simply is.
I should have called in sick.
Until Next I Blog,
James
Sometimes work sucks.
Luckily, I have sick days left.
One Out Of Every Twenty-One Black American Males Will Be Murdered In Their Lifetime
People are weird. For some reason they want certainty and they do not like subtlety. Sometimes I think that what is referred to as the "Dumbing Down of America" is merely the desire for some kind of guarantee. See it's not that the country is dumb, it's that we prefer that you spell things out.
Maybe we are just dumb too.
Most Will Die At The Hands Of Another Black Male
But this spelling out of things is why Boyz N The Hood is so bad as a movie. While there is truth to the movie, especially when it was originally released, the brow beating that viewers take during the two hours of the flick is mind numbing. Ricky's story is fully disclosed when young Doughboy asks him why he carries a football everywhere. Within the first five minutes they set the kid up with so much potential for good that they may have given him a jersey with a target on it.
The Next Day Doughboy Saw His Brother Buried
But this movie was probably conceived of as a wake up call to White/Rich America. So the makers probably felt like they needed to be a little preachy in the name of "keeping it real". But that still doesn't explain the completely ridiculous hissy fit that Tre throws after being hassled by the cops.
And aren't the cops the most interesting characters in the show? You got that completely disinterested white cop and the insanely aggressive black cop. I wonder what their relationship is like off camera. Is the black cop really talkative and annoying during the patrol? Is the white cop a brown-noser back at the station? Do they get along with the other cops? Are they racist as individuals or are they merely trapped in a system that forces them to act in oppressive ways?
So many questions.
Two Weeks Later He Was Murdered
But if the movie was going to try and give a truly accurate presentation of life in 90's South Central L.A., it would last years. It would be HBO's The Wire (which you should totally watch). And they weren't making a series, they were making a movie, so it needed to be pretty explicit in terms of action. They wanted to present a world and do it quickly. Pausing for artfulness would have popped the sheltered viewer out of the message.
"Why don't they just get a job," Redneck McGee would say, "I have problems but you don't see me shooting folks."
No but you also don't have a helicopter flying overhead at all hours like you live in a prison colony either. This section of the essay is called using a "straw man". I don't feel bad for doing it either.
In The Fall Tre Went To Morehouse College In Atlanta, Georgia
I don't think it's only an America phenomenon, or a white people phenomenon, wanting answers is what all the world wants. The problem is that the world is too complex to provide easy answers. Who, What, When, and Where, a cinch, it's Why that's a bugaboo. Add emotion and confusion turns into rage.
This is why shouting shows are the way most people get the news. We don't want the nuanced reality of how our collective problems start with the little compromises we make in every second of each day. Give us someone to blame.
With Brandi Across the Way At Spelman College
This post sucks. You just read a sucky post. I hope the next one is better.
Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. Maybe the quality of this post is the product of a very sophisticated society and my words are only what was fated to occur. I had no control over whether this post was good or not. It simply is.
I should have called in sick.
Until Next I Blog,
James
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Week 31: Batman
Dear Avid Reader,
Bob Dylan is a really great artist.
You should totally check out his albums.
Where Does He Get Those Wonderful Toys?
Fundamentalism. Huge problem. Big problem. Why? Because there is no room for humanity in hardcore black/white philosophies that's why. Fundamentalism means that the believer is able to understand the world entirely and fully and can act on behalf of the holy (i.e. there is a right way to live and there is no other option). The faith of the fundamentalist then turns into rule following and some really terrible ideas like street-corner evangelism.
I hate rule following. Maybe I just don't think they apply to me. Yeah, that's probably it. At any rate, I believe in people enough to think they will come to the right conclusions and most of the time they do. I'm just a dreamer that way I guess.
Have You Ever Danced With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight?
But in Batman we have the idealized version of fundamentalism. Batman is a vigilante. He takes the law into his own hands. This is justified because Batman is an ethical person that doesn't make many mistakes. But because this kind of person doesn't really exist, vigilantism is illegal in the real world. But for some reason fundamentalism is totally within the law.
Am I saying fundamentalism should be illegal? What am I talking about? Follow me into the Batcave.
Never Rub Another Man's Rhubarb
No, fundamentalism shouldn't be illegal, but like vigilantism, fundamentalism is about action. No sitting on the sidelines when operating in the extremes. Something is believed so strongly, that one can't help but start doing. Unfortunately for everyone else, the underlying beliefs aren't shared by the greater society. One shouldn't rob, but is beating up alleged robbers a good strategy to deter crime? Folks should be as compassionate as the best of scripture leads us to live, but is confrontation the best way to educate people of these truths?
Hello Vinny, It's Your Uncle Bingo
I guess what I'm saying is I'm annoyed with strong-arming. Even if it's for the best of intentions. And the trouble is that these paladins of belief are so easy to fall in love with. Who wouldn't want to live in a world where the paragons of right roamed the streets and protected us? It would make for an easier world to live in.
I covered why the existence supervillians would be great in my Enter The Dragon essay. So it follows that the same would be true for superheroes. But so long as the heroes have to be picked from among us humans, it will never work. We are too flawed. We would make too many mistakes and emotions cloud judgements.
My Face On The One Dollar Bill
Fundamentalists are people, and people are fallible. People just make for crappy instruments of divine will. So one must make damn sure they are working on behalf of God, lest they start accidentally doing evil things. Like killing people. Whoops.
And these crazy people need to understand, they are really doing the easiest form of religion, not the hardest. Purity is actually easy, it's love that's hard. Strap that truth bomb to your chest.
Now, most of the peaceful nutjobs that we have in this country are not even close to being as dangerous as terrorists. Not even close. But rather than bother pedestrians downtown, why not listen to those Dylan records I mentioned. Blonde on Blonde is the best.
Until Next I Blog,
James
Bob Dylan is a really great artist.
You should totally check out his albums.
Where Does He Get Those Wonderful Toys?
Fundamentalism. Huge problem. Big problem. Why? Because there is no room for humanity in hardcore black/white philosophies that's why. Fundamentalism means that the believer is able to understand the world entirely and fully and can act on behalf of the holy (i.e. there is a right way to live and there is no other option). The faith of the fundamentalist then turns into rule following and some really terrible ideas like street-corner evangelism.
I hate rule following. Maybe I just don't think they apply to me. Yeah, that's probably it. At any rate, I believe in people enough to think they will come to the right conclusions and most of the time they do. I'm just a dreamer that way I guess.
Have You Ever Danced With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight?
But in Batman we have the idealized version of fundamentalism. Batman is a vigilante. He takes the law into his own hands. This is justified because Batman is an ethical person that doesn't make many mistakes. But because this kind of person doesn't really exist, vigilantism is illegal in the real world. But for some reason fundamentalism is totally within the law.
Am I saying fundamentalism should be illegal? What am I talking about? Follow me into the Batcave.
Never Rub Another Man's Rhubarb
No, fundamentalism shouldn't be illegal, but like vigilantism, fundamentalism is about action. No sitting on the sidelines when operating in the extremes. Something is believed so strongly, that one can't help but start doing. Unfortunately for everyone else, the underlying beliefs aren't shared by the greater society. One shouldn't rob, but is beating up alleged robbers a good strategy to deter crime? Folks should be as compassionate as the best of scripture leads us to live, but is confrontation the best way to educate people of these truths?
Hello Vinny, It's Your Uncle Bingo
I guess what I'm saying is I'm annoyed with strong-arming. Even if it's for the best of intentions. And the trouble is that these paladins of belief are so easy to fall in love with. Who wouldn't want to live in a world where the paragons of right roamed the streets and protected us? It would make for an easier world to live in.
I covered why the existence supervillians would be great in my Enter The Dragon essay. So it follows that the same would be true for superheroes. But so long as the heroes have to be picked from among us humans, it will never work. We are too flawed. We would make too many mistakes and emotions cloud judgements.
My Face On The One Dollar Bill
Fundamentalists are people, and people are fallible. People just make for crappy instruments of divine will. So one must make damn sure they are working on behalf of God, lest they start accidentally doing evil things. Like killing people. Whoops.
And these crazy people need to understand, they are really doing the easiest form of religion, not the hardest. Purity is actually easy, it's love that's hard. Strap that truth bomb to your chest.
Now, most of the peaceful nutjobs that we have in this country are not even close to being as dangerous as terrorists. Not even close. But rather than bother pedestrians downtown, why not listen to those Dylan records I mentioned. Blonde on Blonde is the best.
Until Next I Blog,
James
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Week 30: Napoleon Dynamite
Dear Avid Reader,
Spring is kinda cool. I don't know why.
I just like it.
Since When, Kip? You Have The Worst Reflexes Of All Time.
Back in the early part of the 2000's, Netflix wanted to improve their recommendation algorithm. That's the program that tries to guess if someone will like Movie A based on how well they liked Movie B. Netflix even offered a million dollars to the programmer who could do it. But eventually they all ran into the same problem.
The Napoleon Dynamite Problem.
Do The Chickens Have Large Talons?
The Napoleon Dynamite Problem is the inability for software to predict if someone will like certain movies. Fahrenheit 9/11, Lost In Translation, and I Heart Huckabees are other flicks that also have the same problem. All these movies illicit a strong response, either love it or hate it, and no amount of data gathered can determine which side of the fence a viewer will fall.
It's fascinating to me that there are movies like this. With this knowledge of the NDP, I have a better understanding of why I argue with friends over the merits of some movies. But I do not understand one thing. Why wouldn't anyone like Napoleon Dynamite?
I've talked with friends and I have encountered a few common complaints. So as we go through this essay, know that I am not inventing straw men here. These are actual arguments that I have had with people. Quit being so cynical.
Pedro Offers You His Protection
First, there is a perception that there is no plot to Napoleon Dynamite. I find this to be laughable. It is a classic coming of age story where a boy tires to make friends in the hostile environs of high school. It also has a "boy gets girl" arc between Deb and Napoleon. There is just as much story here as there is in any romantic comedy. You could call it a less raunchy Revenge of the Nerds that doesn't suck like Revenge of the Nerds III did.
There are plenty of things going on in the film in addition to Napoleon's quest for acceptance. There is Kip and Uncle Rico scheming along the edges of the main story. Kip's romance with Lafawnda and Pedro's presidential campaign are also occurring in the background. So don't tell me there is no plot. There is plenty of plot. But I think folks are actually referring to the pace of the movie when bitching about the plot. And that brings us to number two...
You Ever Take It Off Any Sweet Jumps?
Some of my friends seem to think that the movie is too slow. Now, I understand that the film doesn't have a fast pace and that bores some folks, but I find it tragic that the film is blamed and not the viewer. What is perceived as an accidental sluggishness, I feel, is an intentional directorial move.
In Lawrence of Arabia there are lots of sections where little happens on screen, but this is to emphasize the vastness of the desert and the scope of Lawrence's vision. The same kind of technique is employed here. The pauses, to me, are fascinating, revealing the loneliness of the main characters. The slow pace gives us a glimpse as to how time feels to the ostracized. Get out of your comfort zone people. Not every movie needs to be loaded with explosions. I mean didn't anyone else like Rushmore?
Too Bad, She Said She Doesn't Want You Here When She Gets Back Because You've Been Ruining Everybody's Lives And Eating All Our Steak
Finally, and probably the most frequent critique, is that the viewer doesn't "get it" or they find the movie totally unfunny. While this is the most difficult complaint to respond to, I also think it is the most valid. It also hints at the essence of the Napoleon Dynamite Problem. See, I cannot argue taste or humor. A person either fundamentally has taste or they don't. They are either funny or they are not. There is no escape.
I would like to use a scenario as an example here. There is a person telling a joke to an audience. After the punchline, a few of the audience members laugh out loud, amused fully in the hilarity of the joke. A few audience members are confused by the joke's premise and ask for further explanation. The bedraggled comedian humors them and the rest of the audience groans as the comedian begins, clearly frustrated at the confused audience members. After the explanation, the confused members give a sigh of understanding and then immediately declare the joke to be unfunny, blaming the comedian's delivery or writing. The rest of the evening is spent in awkward suspicion.
That Suit, It's...It's Incredible
The explanation of humor has never, and will never end well. You either get a joke or you don't. Teh same is true here. For whatever reason, some folks get this movie. I think it is a person that has experience at some point in their life a level of being a true outcast. Being socially isolated changes a person. Time moves as slowly as the pauses in Napoleon Dynamite. And a nerd doesn't know how to interact with anyone, so the relationships they do have are wonky and off-balance. Just like Napoleon's. And his gropes to find equilibrium are so close to reality that it at times feel like it's a documentary.
To have to walk around in this world may seem strange to those who are unfamiliar. It must feel like the gravity has been changed, or that the ground shifts as they walk around. But for those who have lived in the world of the shunned, it's like riding a bike. Long gone is the nausea, replaced with a sense of comfort, of familiarity, of home.
Welcome home my fellow geeks. Welcome home.
Until Next I Blog,
James
Spring is kinda cool. I don't know why.
I just like it.
Since When, Kip? You Have The Worst Reflexes Of All Time.
Back in the early part of the 2000's, Netflix wanted to improve their recommendation algorithm. That's the program that tries to guess if someone will like Movie A based on how well they liked Movie B. Netflix even offered a million dollars to the programmer who could do it. But eventually they all ran into the same problem.
The Napoleon Dynamite Problem.
Do The Chickens Have Large Talons?
The Napoleon Dynamite Problem is the inability for software to predict if someone will like certain movies. Fahrenheit 9/11, Lost In Translation, and I Heart Huckabees are other flicks that also have the same problem. All these movies illicit a strong response, either love it or hate it, and no amount of data gathered can determine which side of the fence a viewer will fall.
It's fascinating to me that there are movies like this. With this knowledge of the NDP, I have a better understanding of why I argue with friends over the merits of some movies. But I do not understand one thing. Why wouldn't anyone like Napoleon Dynamite?
I've talked with friends and I have encountered a few common complaints. So as we go through this essay, know that I am not inventing straw men here. These are actual arguments that I have had with people. Quit being so cynical.
Pedro Offers You His Protection
First, there is a perception that there is no plot to Napoleon Dynamite. I find this to be laughable. It is a classic coming of age story where a boy tires to make friends in the hostile environs of high school. It also has a "boy gets girl" arc between Deb and Napoleon. There is just as much story here as there is in any romantic comedy. You could call it a less raunchy Revenge of the Nerds that doesn't suck like Revenge of the Nerds III did.
There are plenty of things going on in the film in addition to Napoleon's quest for acceptance. There is Kip and Uncle Rico scheming along the edges of the main story. Kip's romance with Lafawnda and Pedro's presidential campaign are also occurring in the background. So don't tell me there is no plot. There is plenty of plot. But I think folks are actually referring to the pace of the movie when bitching about the plot. And that brings us to number two...
You Ever Take It Off Any Sweet Jumps?
Some of my friends seem to think that the movie is too slow. Now, I understand that the film doesn't have a fast pace and that bores some folks, but I find it tragic that the film is blamed and not the viewer. What is perceived as an accidental sluggishness, I feel, is an intentional directorial move.
In Lawrence of Arabia there are lots of sections where little happens on screen, but this is to emphasize the vastness of the desert and the scope of Lawrence's vision. The same kind of technique is employed here. The pauses, to me, are fascinating, revealing the loneliness of the main characters. The slow pace gives us a glimpse as to how time feels to the ostracized. Get out of your comfort zone people. Not every movie needs to be loaded with explosions. I mean didn't anyone else like Rushmore?
Too Bad, She Said She Doesn't Want You Here When She Gets Back Because You've Been Ruining Everybody's Lives And Eating All Our Steak
Finally, and probably the most frequent critique, is that the viewer doesn't "get it" or they find the movie totally unfunny. While this is the most difficult complaint to respond to, I also think it is the most valid. It also hints at the essence of the Napoleon Dynamite Problem. See, I cannot argue taste or humor. A person either fundamentally has taste or they don't. They are either funny or they are not. There is no escape.
I would like to use a scenario as an example here. There is a person telling a joke to an audience. After the punchline, a few of the audience members laugh out loud, amused fully in the hilarity of the joke. A few audience members are confused by the joke's premise and ask for further explanation. The bedraggled comedian humors them and the rest of the audience groans as the comedian begins, clearly frustrated at the confused audience members. After the explanation, the confused members give a sigh of understanding and then immediately declare the joke to be unfunny, blaming the comedian's delivery or writing. The rest of the evening is spent in awkward suspicion.
That Suit, It's...It's Incredible
The explanation of humor has never, and will never end well. You either get a joke or you don't. Teh same is true here. For whatever reason, some folks get this movie. I think it is a person that has experience at some point in their life a level of being a true outcast. Being socially isolated changes a person. Time moves as slowly as the pauses in Napoleon Dynamite. And a nerd doesn't know how to interact with anyone, so the relationships they do have are wonky and off-balance. Just like Napoleon's. And his gropes to find equilibrium are so close to reality that it at times feel like it's a documentary.
To have to walk around in this world may seem strange to those who are unfamiliar. It must feel like the gravity has been changed, or that the ground shifts as they walk around. But for those who have lived in the world of the shunned, it's like riding a bike. Long gone is the nausea, replaced with a sense of comfort, of familiarity, of home.
Welcome home my fellow geeks. Welcome home.
Until Next I Blog,
James
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Week 29: Ghostbusters
Dear Avid Reader,
Ugh. Got another rejection email. Sucks.
I'm not sure how this will effect this post, but I intend to press on.
Ray, When Someone Asks You If You're A God, You Say "Yes"
One of my pet peeves is this current trend to qualify things that you say. Rather than say a sentence, there is a tendency to instantly hedge whatever implication your statement so that no one could ever use the statement against you in the future. Here is an example:
"My name is Speaker and I'm a good writer. I'm no expert, I don't do it professionally, but I feel as though the things I write have a degree of quality. No that all of my writing is of high quality. Sometimes I write a real stinker, and I know that. I can admit that some of the things I put out there are not the best. But for the most part, I can say that my writing is good. Overall. For an amateur. I'm no Ayn Rand. Who is after all? And I wouldn't necessarily compare style to Ayn. I have my way of doing it and she does it her way. And she is good at her style, and I can hold my own in mine. So yeah. That's how I feel."
God, what a douche Speaker is.
What About The Twinkie?
This happens all the time. No one wants to take a stand. Like there are armies of lawyers waiting to catch you in some kind of promise and then sue you. Or worse, a friend will be able to bring up the declaration and use it against you in an argument. Or, like the above passage, I get the feeling folks are afraid to oversell themselves. But why say something is you are gonna qualify the crap out of it. "Speaker" should have never brought up the fact that he felt like he was a good writer. He obviously doesn't feel that way. He should have gone with something like this:
"My name is Speaker and I am a good writer. I defy you to challenge me on this."
See. No wasted time. Why talk if you aren't gonna say something?
What Are You Supposed To Be, Some Kind Of A Cosmonaut
This brings us to Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters is a perfect movie. The End.
You're Right, No Human Being Would Stack Books Like Thi
This flick is one of the reasons I originally started this blog. It is hugely popular, infinitely rewatchable, and yet it routinely is left off "greatest movies" lists. Probably because it is a comedy. It doesn't have an epic scope that provides the viewer with hope of a better future with a twinge of sadness. Greatness, it seems, crawls fro the spawning pool of melancholy.
But here's the thing, Ghostbusters unifies us as humans. Ghostbusters achieves what all art wants to achieve, impact over the whole of mankind. Everyone knows who to call if there is something strange in their neighborhood. "Crossing the streams" is shorthand for a last ditch effort or a suicide mission. And the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is the go to option when forced to pick a monster to do battle with. These are the gifts that Ghostbusters provides. Mankind is wealthier because of this knowledge.
What A Lovely Singing Voice You Must Have
I'm gonna do something that I did back in my Top Gun post. I'm gonna give you the list of the films that were up for the Best Picture Oscar the same year that Ghostbusters was released.
Amadeus (winner)
The Killing Fields
A Passage to India
Places in the Heart
A Soldier's Story
Amadeus notwithstanding, did you see any of these flicks? The most famous thing that any of these other flicks produced was Sally Field's award acceptance speech. I submit that Ghostbusters is better than all of these movies accept Amadeus. Furthermore, Ghostbusters should forever be included in "Best Of" lists as an example of comedy and adventure movies. These movie genres are woefully under represented in discussions about great film.
Nobody Steps On A Church In My Town
Now, am I asking that novelty records be nominated for Grammys? No. But I also don't think rap should be excluded just because it defies the current preconceptions of what great albums are supposed to sound like. What if country artists weren't nominated for the General Awards because it was too popular and wasn't epic enough in scope? It would be ridiculous. I don't think the two situations are that different.
I refuse to backtrack on this. Movies other than dramas are great and should be considered as such! Ghostbusters is great. No qualifications. Remind me of this post in ten years and I will stand by it.
But even if I don't you'd be an asshole for bringing it up. I mean it will have been ten years ago.
Until Next I Blog,
James
Ugh. Got another rejection email. Sucks.
I'm not sure how this will effect this post, but I intend to press on.
Ray, When Someone Asks You If You're A God, You Say "Yes"
One of my pet peeves is this current trend to qualify things that you say. Rather than say a sentence, there is a tendency to instantly hedge whatever implication your statement so that no one could ever use the statement against you in the future. Here is an example:
"My name is Speaker and I'm a good writer. I'm no expert, I don't do it professionally, but I feel as though the things I write have a degree of quality. No that all of my writing is of high quality. Sometimes I write a real stinker, and I know that. I can admit that some of the things I put out there are not the best. But for the most part, I can say that my writing is good. Overall. For an amateur. I'm no Ayn Rand. Who is after all? And I wouldn't necessarily compare style to Ayn. I have my way of doing it and she does it her way. And she is good at her style, and I can hold my own in mine. So yeah. That's how I feel."
God, what a douche Speaker is.
What About The Twinkie?
This happens all the time. No one wants to take a stand. Like there are armies of lawyers waiting to catch you in some kind of promise and then sue you. Or worse, a friend will be able to bring up the declaration and use it against you in an argument. Or, like the above passage, I get the feeling folks are afraid to oversell themselves. But why say something is you are gonna qualify the crap out of it. "Speaker" should have never brought up the fact that he felt like he was a good writer. He obviously doesn't feel that way. He should have gone with something like this:
"My name is Speaker and I am a good writer. I defy you to challenge me on this."
See. No wasted time. Why talk if you aren't gonna say something?
What Are You Supposed To Be, Some Kind Of A Cosmonaut
This brings us to Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters is a perfect movie. The End.
You're Right, No Human Being Would Stack Books Like Thi
This flick is one of the reasons I originally started this blog. It is hugely popular, infinitely rewatchable, and yet it routinely is left off "greatest movies" lists. Probably because it is a comedy. It doesn't have an epic scope that provides the viewer with hope of a better future with a twinge of sadness. Greatness, it seems, crawls fro the spawning pool of melancholy.
But here's the thing, Ghostbusters unifies us as humans. Ghostbusters achieves what all art wants to achieve, impact over the whole of mankind. Everyone knows who to call if there is something strange in their neighborhood. "Crossing the streams" is shorthand for a last ditch effort or a suicide mission. And the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is the go to option when forced to pick a monster to do battle with. These are the gifts that Ghostbusters provides. Mankind is wealthier because of this knowledge.
What A Lovely Singing Voice You Must Have
I'm gonna do something that I did back in my Top Gun post. I'm gonna give you the list of the films that were up for the Best Picture Oscar the same year that Ghostbusters was released.
Amadeus (winner)
The Killing Fields
A Passage to India
Places in the Heart
A Soldier's Story
Amadeus notwithstanding, did you see any of these flicks? The most famous thing that any of these other flicks produced was Sally Field's award acceptance speech. I submit that Ghostbusters is better than all of these movies accept Amadeus. Furthermore, Ghostbusters should forever be included in "Best Of" lists as an example of comedy and adventure movies. These movie genres are woefully under represented in discussions about great film.
Nobody Steps On A Church In My Town
Now, am I asking that novelty records be nominated for Grammys? No. But I also don't think rap should be excluded just because it defies the current preconceptions of what great albums are supposed to sound like. What if country artists weren't nominated for the General Awards because it was too popular and wasn't epic enough in scope? It would be ridiculous. I don't think the two situations are that different.
I refuse to backtrack on this. Movies other than dramas are great and should be considered as such! Ghostbusters is great. No qualifications. Remind me of this post in ten years and I will stand by it.
But even if I don't you'd be an asshole for bringing it up. I mean it will have been ten years ago.
Until Next I Blog,
James
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Week 28: The Royal Tenenbaums
Dear Avid Reader,
I went to a Das Racist concert last night. It was great. Mostly because it was here in Fort Worth so I didn't have to drive to Dallas.
Dallas sucks. Kinda.
What Characters, There's A Bunch Of Little Kids Dressed Up In Animal Costumes
Families are weird things. The trickiest part is when a child starts coming out from under the shadow of their parents. I believe the difficulty comes from the parent coming to grips with death. I mean, the only significant signpost left for the empty nester is retirement. The end of life must have seemed so far away, and now that the child has become an adult, the end must seem closer. Everytime a graduation cap flies in the air a casket closes. And that is sad.
I think in this film, Royal Tenenbaum's journey explores this transition. Being kicked out of the hotel he must confront the fact that he has alienated everyone he ever loved. And as he gropes in the dark for the family he abandoned, the viewer is charmed by his complete ineptitude to understand the only relationships he has. I begin to wonder why Chas and Margot are so disappointed in him. After all, the guy has no idea how bad at this he is. And he's really bad.
Of Course It's Dark, It's A Suicide Note
I sometimes hold my family to higher standards that I should. I've know them all my life, and I catch myself wishing they would act differently. But why would they? I mean, I'm not gonna change how I act and think, what gives me the right to demand it of them? Probably because I'm greedy. Not any kind of greedy mind you. American greedy.
American greedy is the thick stuff. Not only do you want it, you are entitled to it. Americans won the galactic lottery by being born into the greatest wealth man has ever known. Fueled by abundant resources and lit by European and Asian destruction following World War II, current generations somehow think the huge fire that warms them was earned. Bullcrap. It was chanced.
And They Rode On In The Friscalating Dusklight
I have recently glimpsed the black, beating heart of this monster. As I mentioned before I was at a concert recently. At this concert there was a woman in a blue dress. She was pretty and very drunk. She tapped my shoulder during one of the louder opening acts. She wanted to sit on the bar that I was leaning on. I told her that was fine and I asked for a cigarette. What? It was one cigarette! Seriously? Judging ME? Fine. That's bullcrap, but fine.
Anyway she soon left her perch and mingled in the crowd. She was grinding with strangers and the bolder men would grind back. But she would grow bored and move to the next man. Like a humming bird. Except her ass was her beak and the flowers were crotches.
And then there was this guy in a wheelchair. I had conversed a little with him when he asked for help getting outside to chill. He was cool, but definitely traveling alone. Alone, but not for long. As he watched the show from the crowd, the blue dressed lady made her way over to him. and upon finding him, began to gyrate and grind to the music. Using the wheelchair for balance, she swayed her body closer and closer to him, finally leaning in for a kiss. The gentleman hoggishly slurped back. And there they embraced, in the dark, surrounded by jealous crotches.
You Heard Me Coltrane
Now I don't care what people do. If you want to hook up with a stranger, I understand. What concerned me was that the girl was so freaking drunk. It just felt so seedy watching that guy totally take advantage of the situation. I guess they were consenting, but somehow it didn't feel that way. It was in that moment that i glimpsed the liquid bile center of the country. Here it is: screw other people, I'm taking what I deserve, and I deserve everything. We should put it on the money and in the pledge.
I literally felt the room spin. My brain felt as if it was cut on the sharp edge of sanity. Suddenly, I wanted to break a pool cue on the bar and smash my teeth together. I wanted to scream. I felt Noah's flood rippling beneath my shoulders and coursing to my fists. I was in Pamplona and everything was red. Each breath was a car explosion. And then, just as quickly, it was gone.
She continued to alternate between her new boyfriend and her cross-pollination with the other men of the club the entire night. I guess during their brief courtship they established an rather open relationship.
"Wildcat" Was Written In A Kind Of Obselete Vernacular
This starting to sound like I want this woman to feel bad for being freer than me sexually. I'm not trying to do that. The jokes are just too easy I guess. But I really do wonder what humanity thinks they are doing on this spinning rock. Is it really cool to take advantage of a drunk girl? After all, she's an adult, she makes her own choices. But tha is like throwing up our hands and putting it all on personal responsibility. Is that the end of it? Shouldn't folks feel responsible for each other?
Families are weird things. Even so, we should try to act like we're all in one together.
Until Next I Blog,
James
I went to a Das Racist concert last night. It was great. Mostly because it was here in Fort Worth so I didn't have to drive to Dallas.
Dallas sucks. Kinda.
What Characters, There's A Bunch Of Little Kids Dressed Up In Animal Costumes
Families are weird things. The trickiest part is when a child starts coming out from under the shadow of their parents. I believe the difficulty comes from the parent coming to grips with death. I mean, the only significant signpost left for the empty nester is retirement. The end of life must have seemed so far away, and now that the child has become an adult, the end must seem closer. Everytime a graduation cap flies in the air a casket closes. And that is sad.
I think in this film, Royal Tenenbaum's journey explores this transition. Being kicked out of the hotel he must confront the fact that he has alienated everyone he ever loved. And as he gropes in the dark for the family he abandoned, the viewer is charmed by his complete ineptitude to understand the only relationships he has. I begin to wonder why Chas and Margot are so disappointed in him. After all, the guy has no idea how bad at this he is. And he's really bad.
Of Course It's Dark, It's A Suicide Note
I sometimes hold my family to higher standards that I should. I've know them all my life, and I catch myself wishing they would act differently. But why would they? I mean, I'm not gonna change how I act and think, what gives me the right to demand it of them? Probably because I'm greedy. Not any kind of greedy mind you. American greedy.
American greedy is the thick stuff. Not only do you want it, you are entitled to it. Americans won the galactic lottery by being born into the greatest wealth man has ever known. Fueled by abundant resources and lit by European and Asian destruction following World War II, current generations somehow think the huge fire that warms them was earned. Bullcrap. It was chanced.
And They Rode On In The Friscalating Dusklight
I have recently glimpsed the black, beating heart of this monster. As I mentioned before I was at a concert recently. At this concert there was a woman in a blue dress. She was pretty and very drunk. She tapped my shoulder during one of the louder opening acts. She wanted to sit on the bar that I was leaning on. I told her that was fine and I asked for a cigarette. What? It was one cigarette! Seriously? Judging ME? Fine. That's bullcrap, but fine.
Anyway she soon left her perch and mingled in the crowd. She was grinding with strangers and the bolder men would grind back. But she would grow bored and move to the next man. Like a humming bird. Except her ass was her beak and the flowers were crotches.
And then there was this guy in a wheelchair. I had conversed a little with him when he asked for help getting outside to chill. He was cool, but definitely traveling alone. Alone, but not for long. As he watched the show from the crowd, the blue dressed lady made her way over to him. and upon finding him, began to gyrate and grind to the music. Using the wheelchair for balance, she swayed her body closer and closer to him, finally leaning in for a kiss. The gentleman hoggishly slurped back. And there they embraced, in the dark, surrounded by jealous crotches.
You Heard Me Coltrane
Now I don't care what people do. If you want to hook up with a stranger, I understand. What concerned me was that the girl was so freaking drunk. It just felt so seedy watching that guy totally take advantage of the situation. I guess they were consenting, but somehow it didn't feel that way. It was in that moment that i glimpsed the liquid bile center of the country. Here it is: screw other people, I'm taking what I deserve, and I deserve everything. We should put it on the money and in the pledge.
I literally felt the room spin. My brain felt as if it was cut on the sharp edge of sanity. Suddenly, I wanted to break a pool cue on the bar and smash my teeth together. I wanted to scream. I felt Noah's flood rippling beneath my shoulders and coursing to my fists. I was in Pamplona and everything was red. Each breath was a car explosion. And then, just as quickly, it was gone.
She continued to alternate between her new boyfriend and her cross-pollination with the other men of the club the entire night. I guess during their brief courtship they established an rather open relationship.
"Wildcat" Was Written In A Kind Of Obselete Vernacular
This starting to sound like I want this woman to feel bad for being freer than me sexually. I'm not trying to do that. The jokes are just too easy I guess. But I really do wonder what humanity thinks they are doing on this spinning rock. Is it really cool to take advantage of a drunk girl? After all, she's an adult, she makes her own choices. But tha is like throwing up our hands and putting it all on personal responsibility. Is that the end of it? Shouldn't folks feel responsible for each other?
Families are weird things. Even so, we should try to act like we're all in one together.
Until Next I Blog,
James
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Week 27: Caddyshack
Dear Avid Reader,
Spring Break next week. And I deserve it. I'm gonna do less than nothing.
It's possible. Just watch me.
Don't Sell Yourself Short Judge, You're A Tremendous Slouch
Caddyshack isn't the greatest movie of all time. In fact, it may only be a medium movie. What draws people to it is Rodney, Ted, Bill, and Chevy. These are the four dudes that are on the movie poster and all the DVD boxes. They're the ones with best lines, you know, the ones everyone quotes. And it's shocking to find out that Danny Noonan's story was originally the whole movie. Seriously. Danny Noonan.
See when the filming began the script was a romantic comedy with a little humor here and there. But then they got these great cameos from Ted and Rodney and everyone. And they did the smartest thing anyone on any movie set did, they shifted the focus to have more of these geniuses on camera more. It destroyed any meaningful plot but gave room for some hilarious stuff from improv masters like Chevy and Bill. In fact, all of Bill Murray's lines are unscripted. Awesome right?
That's A Peach, Hon!
As I watched the movie this time I wondered if the actors knew how many times there performances would be repeated on golf courses and college campuses. I especially wonder this about Bill Murray. The guy was only shot over six days but he is easily the most quoted and remember out of the bunch. I guess if he knew exactly how popular the flick would become he might had worked harder. Maybe not. They smoked a lot of weed back in the 70's.
Gunga Galunga... Gunga, Gunga-Lagunga
I guess that is the fun and wacky thing about life. Each day holds the possibility to be the day you are most remembered for. There is glory and infamy inside of each dawn. It's such a shame that usually the day ends up being mundane. Such a shame.
There should be more ninjas and spaceships. I think that is what the future will be like. Fed up with hum-drum lives, people will demand pirate attacks and distressed damsels. Companies will begin training strike forces to kidnap grandparents, only a ransom note filled with clues to decipher left in an empty rocking chair. The grandparent plot will be a standard trail subscription adventure of course. Fully armored knight battles are available with the "gallant package" and alien invasions are available to VIP members only.
What was I talking about? Oh Caddyshack. Right. Decent movie. Great quotes. Will be regarded as funny forever? Maybe. I mean it really is only an adequate movie. I wonder if it will survive another generation.
I mean won't they be busy fighting dinosaurs with jet packs?
Until Next I Blog,
James
Spring Break next week. And I deserve it. I'm gonna do less than nothing.
It's possible. Just watch me.
Don't Sell Yourself Short Judge, You're A Tremendous Slouch
Caddyshack isn't the greatest movie of all time. In fact, it may only be a medium movie. What draws people to it is Rodney, Ted, Bill, and Chevy. These are the four dudes that are on the movie poster and all the DVD boxes. They're the ones with best lines, you know, the ones everyone quotes. And it's shocking to find out that Danny Noonan's story was originally the whole movie. Seriously. Danny Noonan.
See when the filming began the script was a romantic comedy with a little humor here and there. But then they got these great cameos from Ted and Rodney and everyone. And they did the smartest thing anyone on any movie set did, they shifted the focus to have more of these geniuses on camera more. It destroyed any meaningful plot but gave room for some hilarious stuff from improv masters like Chevy and Bill. In fact, all of Bill Murray's lines are unscripted. Awesome right?
That's A Peach, Hon!
As I watched the movie this time I wondered if the actors knew how many times there performances would be repeated on golf courses and college campuses. I especially wonder this about Bill Murray. The guy was only shot over six days but he is easily the most quoted and remember out of the bunch. I guess if he knew exactly how popular the flick would become he might had worked harder. Maybe not. They smoked a lot of weed back in the 70's.
Gunga Galunga... Gunga, Gunga-Lagunga
I guess that is the fun and wacky thing about life. Each day holds the possibility to be the day you are most remembered for. There is glory and infamy inside of each dawn. It's such a shame that usually the day ends up being mundane. Such a shame.
There should be more ninjas and spaceships. I think that is what the future will be like. Fed up with hum-drum lives, people will demand pirate attacks and distressed damsels. Companies will begin training strike forces to kidnap grandparents, only a ransom note filled with clues to decipher left in an empty rocking chair. The grandparent plot will be a standard trail subscription adventure of course. Fully armored knight battles are available with the "gallant package" and alien invasions are available to VIP members only.
What was I talking about? Oh Caddyshack. Right. Decent movie. Great quotes. Will be regarded as funny forever? Maybe. I mean it really is only an adequate movie. I wonder if it will survive another generation.
I mean won't they be busy fighting dinosaurs with jet packs?
Until Next I Blog,
James
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)